Team Dreams 2K19: Sacramento Kings

On Regicide and the Impermanence of Fun

“The Rome he has been trained to serve, the Rome of Augustus and Germanicus, was gone. In its place stood Neronopolis, ruled by a megalomaniac brat.” ― James Romm

Last year, the Sacramento Kings were the Consensus Fun NBA Team®, following in the grand tradition of the 2016–17 Nuggets, 2012–13 Warriors, and the 2000–01 Clippers. Of course, fun never lasts and the Kings will be burdened with dreaded “expectations” this year.

In The Ancien Régime and the Revolution, de Tocqueville wrote that Louis XVI, the King of France, was “of good character and mediocre abilities” and “always anxious to do the right thing but never very clear as to what that was.” In many ways, this accurately describes the Sacramento Kings over the last 15 years. And, as we head into the 2019–20 season, it would seem—

Oh wait. I just remembered that Harrison Barnes is on the Kings now, for some reason. Yeah, fuck it. Never mind what I was gonna write. Instead, here’s a video I made of Barnes playing “Waiting Room” by Fugazi on the saxophone: