The President Sat In Some Kind Of Big Car

Darrel Toilet gets inside of a humongo Honda

Today President Darrel Toilet sat in a big, long car. He looks very scared in this picture, like it wasn’t his idea to get in the car. Someone said “Darrel you have to get in the big car, you’re the President now and it’s the President’s job to sit in a very big car every day.” He nodded feebly and crawled in, like a hermit crab into its shell. He asked aides, “Will the enormous car hurt me? What if this mondo automobile eats me? I don’t want to be lunch for this demon roadster.” Eventually he became satisfied that the car wouldn’t gobble him up like the pork rind of a man he is and hollered to the crowd, “me and this humongo Honda are friends! I’m like his dad, and he obeys me so if you say mean things about me he will gobble you up.”

Emboldened by sitting in a car that is the size of a dinosaur, he began throwing coins into the crowd, mostly pennies. “A penny from the President is worth a hundred buckaroos!” he hollered. As the crowd dispersed the President could be heard whispering, “some day I am going to drive you into the ocean and become President of the Ocean and teach fish how to be racist. You will be my huge metal wife and I’ll kiss you every day.”