Pros and Cons of Being Friends With an Extrovert
If you spend a lot of time on the internet, you’ve probably seen this picture.
In my case, the extrovert who adopted me was named Rose*, and she was one of my best friends throughout college. She played a huge role in how I developed over the years whether it’s good or bad. On one hand, I met my closest friends through her and had great conversations with her. On the other, she had a nasty tendency to create huge outings that made me uncomfortable and will sometimes wear me down from conversations — especially if it’s ones with other people!
Now, it’s important to note Rose and I aren’t generalizations of all extroverts and introverts. The pros and cons are from my observations of our friendship, and they may not apply to all extrovert-introvert friendships. Still, the idea might give you a foundational insight of what it’s like.
Pro: They will introduce you to your best friends.
As a shy introvert, I was both scared of approaching people and not comfortable in large social situations, so making friends was difficult. Sure, I was friendly with classmates and made some acquaintances, but it would be a long time before I found someone I’d consider my friend. In contrast, Rose the social butterfly will talk to anyone for hours and is very inclusive, so she made friends easily.
It’s through her I met my tight-knit group of friends in college, a lot of whom are also introverted. It’s also because of her I became a little more bold in starting conversations, and I was able to develop more personal connections.
Con: They believe in “The more, the merrier.”
This was definitely Rose’s biggest flaw throughout our entire friendship. She will invite anyone with whom she had a friendly conversation, which usually leads to giant group hangouts that will overwhelm me.
When I was planning my 21st birthday, I was hoping to visit a bar and restaurant with my closest friends. Rose helped me plan because she had already turned 21 and visited bars, so she was eager to give ideas. Unfortunately, when it comes to the invitation list, she kept bringing up various names. They ranged from people with whom I only had polite conversations to even people she was friends with, but I barely knew. I put my foot down and told her no, and she relented.
I don’t mind large groups sometimes, but I largely prefer a smaller setting with few people I personally know and can talk to — a fact I need to remind Rose every time she tries to pull me into a hangout with strangers. At least I know who to talk to if I need to spread awareness for an event.
Pro: They make great conversation.
With extroverts, you can have a near endless conversation. Introverts get their energy from a nice conversation, and an extrovert absolutely will provide you with lots of chatting. You won’t run out of subjects to talk and laugh about, and you feel more comfortable discussing various subjects from politics to television.
One thing I noticed with Rose is she has mastered small talk — a shy introvert’s worst nightmare. An amusing memory is when I said “Hi” to a classmate, and Rose immediately engaged in a lengthy exchange with her. By the time they parted ways, they already traded numbers and discussed future plans. It’s a magic trick to me.
This and other events taught me to put more effort into talking with other people. I might not ease into it as effortlessly as Rose, but I feel I’m more open to others than I was years ago.
Con: They make long conversation.
With extroverts, you can have a near endless conversation. Introverts also get their energy from solitude, and it can be a bit hard to do that when extroverts have a lot to say. It gets a lot worse if they’re chatting with other people.
This came up as a problem in my friendship with Rose. We’ll walk on campus and then see of her friends (or just an acquaintance!), and they’ll chat each other for what feels like an eternity. I’ll stand there waiting for it to end so we can move on, but it never does. There were a few times where I just walked away with a “See you around.”
Recently, when that happens, I’ve been joining the conversation more instead of standing around awkwardly, but small talk is just something I’ll never warm up to.
Regardless of the pros and cons, Rose is still one of my best friends in college. Like I said, she played a major part in how I grown the past four years. When I first met her as a freshmen, I was timid, friendless and incapable of talking to strangers. Now, I have more confidence in engaging others, and I have a gang of best friends. Whatever happens in the future, I will always be grateful to my extroverted friend.
*not her real name
