You Level Up

Don’t feed the trolls, and other bullshit.

Dear internet,

It has been the best of times, and it has been the worst of times. Mostly, I have been outraged. I am outraged. I will probably continue to be, because this has been an outrageous week — with outrageous consequences. You see, I live in Singapore. Last week, we took the unnerving move of withdrawing a few books from our national library’s shelves because a concerned member of the public complained that books he had probably never read, books about gay penguins and adoption, were against ‘family values’.

Much ink has been spilt about that since. I have contributed to much of that ink-spilling, because, outrage.

There is a special kind of outrage I have, however, for another group of people. I’m undecided about whether this outrage exceeds the outrage I feel for the bigots. At least with the bigots, you know what you’re getting.

It’s this: don’t feed the trolls. There are some who truly live and die by that. That’s great. And you are right, most of the time. You’re right when it’s bigdicxboy12312 from Kansas commenting on YouTube videos telling you you sound stupid because you’re Asian. That’s a troll. You’re right to refuse to offer it further nutrition.

But I’m afraid I no longer trust in your ability to decide who or what is a troll and who isn’t. A troll isn’t simply someone who holds a viewpoint or opinion which is contrary to your own. That’s just a person with a differing viewpoint or opinion. Sometimes, you can learn from it. Sometimes, you can engage with it. Sometimes, you can respect it. Sometimes, you can destroy those viewpoints or opinions without destroying the person. Sometimes, you can have a dialogue or a debate. Sometimes, you can… the point is, there are many different ways of interacting in these types of circumstances.

What I’m angry about are those of you who believe that when I hold an opinion about something, that means I’m angry. No, it just means I have an opinion. Most of the time, a pretty strong one. I have strong feelings about yellow M&Ms, but it doesn’t mean that I am angry about them.

As a somewhat public, that is, kaypoh figure on the internets in Singapore, I have a lot of opinions. It’s actually a pretty common thing to hear here — that girl ah, why she so kaypoh one, everything also she care.

That’s a problem, perhaps, that I do care about pretty much everything. But I won’t apologise for it.

What I won’t stand for is to sit idle while hatred and vitriol is directed at my friends, my family, the people I love, or at myself. Don’t feed the trolls? It’s a pithy statement. It’s slick. It sounds like one of those things you cannot disagree with, like war is bad. Yet peel it a little further and you’ll find it’s hollow.

Here’s how I’m supposed to not feed the trolls:

• when homophobic bigots masquerading as pastors pretend to speak for me as a Christian, against me as a queer person, I’m supposed to ignore him
• when homophobic bigots masquerading as concerned parents actively collaborate to remove books of a topic they know nothing about, I’m supposed to ignore them
• when homophobic bigots masquerading as ‘harmonious citizens’ launch a concerted effort to disrupt the development of my rights in this country, I’m supposed to ignore them

Here’s what I would like to know: what has ignoring anything ever done for you?

I’ll tell you what it’s about, I think.

When you make pleas for ‘harmony’, when you make pleas for ‘respect’, when you expect me to shut up and take it from whoever is fucking me in the ass, no questions asked, it tells me just one thing I need to know. You have the privilege of not having to care.

When you tell me you do not understand why we would care so much about a law which isn’t even going to be enforced, it tells me just one thing I need to know. You have the privilege of never having to be a criminal in your own country. Even if you have non-procreative sex without a condom. One which, may I remind you, you made for yourself when you said nothing at Repeal 377, and 377 was amended to make non-procreative sex legal only for you, and illegal for gay men.

When you tell me you do not understand why I, as a lesbian woman, should be angry about sodomy laws, it tells me just one thing I need to know. You have the privilege of never having been a member of any minority group. You do not know what it is like for laws to be against you, and you have never had to fight for anything; the laws, the housing policies, the baby bonus, all of that was written for you, by you.

When you tell me you do not understand why anybody should be angry about our government outlawing Ashley Madison, because infidelity is always bad right who can ever defend it, it tells me just one thing I need to know. You have the privilege of assuming that laws and policies are always never against you. First they come for the infidels… then they come for anybody they decide they should legislate against.

When you tell me you are disappointed that I, as an educated, busy person with ‘so much other better shit to care about’, it tells me just one thing I need to know. You do not care about anything other than about yourself. And I refuse to be ‘more like you’.

I used to have a teacher who would yell at me: “I’m not going to stoop to your level! YOU LEVEL UP!” Now, I refuse to stoop to the level of not caring.

I’ve heard a lot of talk about how all of this keyboard warrior-ing and online anger is worrying because it divides Singapore.

I for one, am glad for it. If the division of Singapore is caused by the erosion of privileges accorded to some and there is a battle for increased rights for those who have never had this privilege, I will take any amount of yelling and screaming. At least then, I have the option of deciding for myself just how crazy the screamers are, instead of the only thing we have ever had in the past: the deafening silence of a populace that has always been happy to exert its privileges. I’m glad to be part of that ‘house on fire’ because we the invisible are now widely seen, read and heard.

Maybe one day Singapore will understand that the only person thinking about gay sex 24/7 is the person with latex and cuffs and an Apostle title.

Maybe one day Singapore will realize that ‘de gayz’ are the ones having picnics and reading with their families, while the pro-family people are raging about how they hate families, while hating those families.

Maybe one day Singapore will realize you can read whatever the hell you want and that isn’t going to be the end of the world because our children are resilient and hardy little things.

None of that is going to happen if we all refuse to level up.