Finding Their Wings: Flying with Autism

Confined to a small space, in close proximity to strangers, with limited access to food and the bathroom, bombarded with random sounds and lights — airline travel is a recipe for discomfort for anyone. But for a child with autism, these conditions can be nothing short of nightmarish. Here’s how some parents make it work, and the support they’re starting to get from the travel industry.

Eye rolls and whispers
Katrina Oliveira often travels with her two sons, both of them on the autism spectrum. She recalls a flight with her oldest when he was four years old and unexpectedly had a huge meltdown. “I heard the whispers and saw the eye rolls as people looked our way,” says Oliveira, who writes about her family’s travel experiences on her blog, Mommyhood Life.

Parents of kids with autism report that things have generally gotten better since Oliveira took that trip with her son, now 14. Resorts, cruise ships, and theme parks have begun to offer services and amenities. Some now offer specially-outfitted sensory rooms, trained staff, and visiting days when lights and noises (both of which can disturb people with autism) are reduced.

But for many families, a trip by airplane is the final, insurmountable obstacle. Oliveira and other parents are showing how it can be done with a little imagination, a lot of planning ahead, and the help of support agencies.

A little help from their friends
“Families who have a loved one with autism want to travel just as much as any other family,” says Kerry Mauger, senior manager at The Arc, a non-profit organization that advocates for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Through its Wings for Autism program, The Arc has worked with airlines and airports throughout the US to let families practice navigating the airport environment with its crowds, bright lights, and noises.

Says Mauger, “There has been a steady increase in engagement from airports and airlines. With the visibility of programs such as Wings for Autism and the creation of sensory-friendly rooms in airports, we see a new level of awareness for airports and airlines to address the needs of travelers that they may not have considered before.”

Autism Speaks is another advocacy organization doing this work, including pre-trip airport visits. “Our Blue Horizons for Autism program with JetBlue enables people with autism and their families to have a ‘dress rehearsal’ of the full airport experience leading up to their flight,” says Lindsay Naeder, a senior director at Autism Speaks. Just as important, the program educates airline and airport personnel. “Each Blue Horizons event provides the TSA and airline crew with firsthand experience,” says Naeder, “and increases their understanding and acceptance of people with autism.”

Different points on the spectrum, different challenges
Those without any experience with autism may not realize how different people on the spectrum can be. Lisa Kruger from Queens, New York, has three sons — 14-year-old twins and a seven-year-old — all diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, and each with different sensory or behavioral challenges that have kept them from flying.

“Both twins have similar challenges and needs, but very different personalities. With one of the twins, I worry about a public outburst or meltdown. The other twin is mellow and goes with the flow. Their younger brother is good cognitively and academically, but struggles with social and emotional things.”

Katrina Oliveira echoes Kruger on this point. “Both my sons are on the spectrum, and couldn’t be more different from each other,” she says. Her older son, now 14, is “more on the Asperger’s side of the spectrum,” and has a difficult time with speech, reading, writing, social interactions, and anxiety. Her youngest son, by contrast, is extremely social and friendly, but has a hard time with loud noises, bright lights, and clothing.

Though none of Kruger’s sons have ever been on a plane, flying is on the family’s wish list for 2020. “For practice, my family and I attended the Autism Speaks/Jet Blue event twice at JFK Airport in New York City,” says Kruger. “Both experiences gave my family the confidence that we can have a successful flying experience with our three special-needs children.”

Practical tips: headphones, pre-boarding, and showers
For those families taking up this challenge for the first time, Oliveira offers some specific pointers. First, “talk to everyone about your child’s disability.” That means mentioning it when you check in, when you interact with TSA personnel, and when you get to the gate. That can mean being offered a quicker line, and controlling your boarding timing in a way that makes sense for your family.

“Some parents like to board last because it means less time sitting on the plane, however, my boys wouldn’t do good with walking into a crowded plane,” she says. “I like to board first because it gives me a moment to check in with the flight attendant, and it gives us time to get situated without a crowd, I can set them up with their security blankets and a snack before the plane starts loading.”

Another solid tip: Noise-canceling headphones, which can be a game-changer for take-off and landing. “Make sure to use them at home several times first so that they are used to them. You don’t want to cause a second sensory issue trying to avoid the first one.” She says her youngest son played with the headphones for a couple months before the flight and he even put stickers on them “to make them his own.”

LeighAnn Heil of Austin, Texas, also has some hard-won wisdom to offer. She’s been flying with her 20-year-old son since he was a five-year-old. Her son was handed a diagnosis of “fairly severe Asperger’s” when her son was three. “I was actually told he would never swim, read, ride a bike or play organized sports.”

But she had a plan. “We intentionally traveled to increase his confidence and abilities,” says Heil. “The first few years were quite hard, but over time he learned exactly what would happen and began looking forward to trips together.”

Heil recommends seeking out amenities like American Airlines’ Admirals Club. “The club offers showers and a shower is a great way to calm a kid on the spectrum,” she says. “My son loved the shower in LAX, and the idea of taking a shower at an airport thrilled him. A shower calms a child on the spectrum and resets any meltdowns from earlier in the day.”

Heil says her son is now considering a career as a flight attendant. “He loves to fly and is a pro at it. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”

The final obstacle: other people
Aside from the unpredictability of travel with delayed flights, and situations like being stuck on the tarmac for what seems like forever, Oliveira says the biggest hurdle will always be the attitudes of other travelers. Those persistent, pernicious eye rolls and whispers. She says autism parents need to have “tough skin, because no matter how much we plan, things can go wrong … But I also know that they don’t have a clue as to what my son is dealing with, and that the memories we have made from traveling and the experiences that my son has had are worth every judgmental look I get.”

Laurie Bain Wilson is a journalist and correspondent, seen in The Boston Globe, Working Mother, The New York Times, OpenTable.com, TravelChannel.com, CNN.com, Salon.com, and many other publications and outlets.

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