Women & Impostor Syndrome: You’re Not Alone and You Can Defeat It

A Slalom consultant confronts her own impostor syndrome and encourages other women in tech to speak up, be assertive, and say yes.

After attending three workshop discussions on impostor syndrome this year, I finally made my decision to start writing about it. I am a chronic procrastinator, a maniacal perfectionist, a longtime self-unaware victim of impostor syndrome.

Dispel the impostor syndrome myth

If you haven’t heard about this terminology before, you’ll already know the feeling. Impostor syndrome is that haunting and daunting feeling like “I don’t qualify,” or “I’m afraid of stepping up to this opportunity.”

It may come as no surprise that impostor syndrome hits certain groups hard. Brian Daniel Norton, a psychotherapist and executive coach in New York mentioned that “Women, women of color, especially black women, as well as the LGBTQ community are most at risk.”

However, it’s not that the rest of the community is immune from imposter syndrome if people are the majority, male, senior, more experienced ones, or anything else. One key study in the Journal of Behavioral Science — The Impostor Phenomenon — revealed that an estimated 70% of people experience these impostor feelings at some point in their lives. And the data from the 2019 Impostor Syndrome Study shows that “a shocking 55% of senior business leaders have not asked for a pay rise they knew they deserved or gone for a promotion they knew they were capable of in the past few years, due to impostor syndrome. ” The gender split on this was 67% for senior women and 32% for senior men.

Recognize its many forms

In her book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, Dr. Valerie Young categorizes sufferers of impostor syndrome into five groups.

The first type is “Perfectionist.” Lots of people, especially in the professional and business service industry, tend to be the perfectionists. They have an extra level of conscientiousness and go after each and every detail as if anything less than perfect is totally unacceptable. On the surface this group of people is often rushing to meet deadlines. But under the hood they are constantly under pressure, feel anxious, and struggle with completing “the last mile.”

Another relentless group is “Expert.” The stress and anxiety these individuals experience comes from a fear of being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable. They work extremely hard, over-prepare for everything, and try to absorb as much as they can but still never seem to be satisfied with their level of understanding. Similar to Perfectionists, Experts also hold a high expectation of themselves and quite often underrate their own expertise.

“Superhero,” “Supermen,” and “Superwomen” are the third type. People in this group are highly motivated and compelled to prove themselves not inadequate by taking on a large workload. They desire to win, to succeed, to showcase achievements and results. But when outcomes fail their expectations, the Superheroes will likely internalize the failure and blame themselves for “not working hard enough,” even though they may have been burning the candle at both ends.

The next type of impostor syndrome is called “Natural Genius.” As opposed to the previous three groups, the “Natural Genius” values their talents or abilities as the most important thing instead of measuring success by work or effort. If they have to push really hard in their first attempts, they will likely feel crushed, back off, and walk away.

Lastly, there are “Soloists” or “Rugged Individualists.” They are the dark knight in the shadows. They come and go all by themselves, accomplish tasks on their own, and reject offers of assistance. They may also walk away if they need to ask for help. Collaboration is the sign of incompetence or imposture for this group.

While Dr. Young uses these five types of personalities to explore impostor syndrome, it can apply to anyone with a mixture of multiple traits as mentioned above.

In reflecting on my own experience, I’ve realized that I almost always procrastinate when I feel under pressure. As someone who has a tendency toward being an “Expert,” preparing to write this blog took tons of reading, three workshop discussions to validate my understanding, plus days of thinking to collect key points. As a “Perfectionist,” I also spent more than two weeks drafting and editing for a piece that’s a five-minute read. I’ve made enough progress now to identify that my struggles were because of impostor syndrome, but I simply couldn’t reduce my excessive efforts or lower my expectations. The voice in my head was still screaming, “stop trying to do it!” Thankfully, I know I’m not alone.

Follow the fearless leaders

In a world of fierce competition and constant stress, it’s hard to admit that we’re all vulnerable. We need care and support from each other. Nothing is more compelling than the stories and personal experiences shared by the people around us, from those who really understand our struggles and environmental situations.

A few weeks ago, Slalom hosted a roundtable discussion and we asked our fearless women leaders in the AI and tech industry: How did you navigate through and overcome impostor syndrome? From that collective wisdom, here are my top 10 picks:

1. Stand up for yourself: As you keep moving forward with your career, understand that few people will actively validate you or your work. Stop seeking “data evidence” or asking for permission. Just stay focused and stay true to your principles and carry on.
2. Join the community: As the saying goes, “If you want to go far, go together.” Get involved in a community and appreciate the value your community brings to you. Get together frequently, listen, and share.
3. Look for role models: Find your female leader role model. While we could receive the same mentorship and guidance from our male mentors, sometimes simply acknowledging that women can be successful at all levels is a source of encouragement and that working with a female leader from day to day is transformational.
4. Find your kind: Root yourself in a positive and open-minded environment where you can build trusting relationships with people, speak up freely, and get encouragement for sharing your ideas. If you constantly feel hurt, maybe it’s time to look for a new environment instead of struggling. Different managerial styles make a difference too.
5. Value your voice: Remember, you don’t always have to be the expert or the smartest person around the table. When you’re invited to a meeting, you already have all the reason to be heard. Prepare your thoughts, make allies, strategize, and be present.
6. Gather your cabinet: Build a support circle with coaches who empower you and cheerleaders who give you energy. Make sure you leverage different roles when you navigate through different situations.
7. Stop putting yourself down: Halt the negative talk. Adopt an attitude of positivity. When you’re taking risks and securing new opportunities be bold and treat yourself like a soldier: don’t expose your weakness to the enemy.
8. Let it go: Release the burden of overanalyzing. Forgive your mistakes and don’t blame yourself. Build the self-awareness for identifying impostor syndrome. Master the tips and tricks that combat it. TIME Magazine, Harvard Business Review and Verywell Mind have all shared practical techniques on dealing with impostor syndrome.
9. Care and mentor: Teach early-career women the things you wish you’d been told when you were 20. Approach young female professionals and offer to serve as a mentor. Help nurture the next generation of women leaders and help them take control of their careers.
10. Share and listen: Continue sharing and listening to each other’s experiences. Have each other’s backs. Remember and tell others: You are not alone!

As I look back on my own journey, I was meticulously guided, warmly supported and encouraged to build up my career and progress on my track. I had my manager, my mentor, and my clients who all told me that my opinion mattered. I was encouraged to join the Slalom community and lead. I saw, and still see, the fearless women leaders around me who are all humble and approachable as mentors. I feel loved and empowered to take risks and embrace new opportunities. I know that I’m supported and that someone has my back. Although I’m still learning how to deal with my impostor syndrome, there are three simple rules I always have in mind today to help me: speak up for my ideas, be assertive about my opinions, say YES and hold on to opportunities. Changes don’t happen overnight, but I’m making progress.

I also like to remember what Tina Fey said, “I’ve realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.” When you really start to observe people, what they do and how they act, you will know that you are more than enough.

Embrace your impostor syndrome as a gift

As a closing remark, I want to share one last quote, this time from Farah Storr, the Editor of UK ELLE magazine and author of Discomfort Zone. She says, “Impostor syndrome is a gift, rather than an excuse for holding us back. It is an internal control valve which alerts us to when we are in our discomfort zone. And that’s crucial, because this is the zone where accelerated growth happens. Feeling fraudulent is a sign you are being challenged. And when we’re challenged that’s when we make true breakthroughs.”

Did you find this content helpful? Are you looking for a supportive community of women and are you interested in connecting with like-minded individuals in the AI and tech industry? Check out our Women in Data Community on LinkedIn. We look forward to seeing you at our next event!