The Big P…
Purpose, that is.
This word scared me for a really long time. I didn’t know what it meant to me, and what’s worse, it seemed like there was something wrong with me if I didn’t know what mine was.
The thought that there has to be more to our time here on Earth, or that we had to check certain boxes in order to be successful or have purpose, always felt wrong to me.
Our purpose is not necessarily some grand design. It may just be a simple life, lived well.
This realization has taken me almost 30 years on Earth to come to, and what’s more, to accept.
Because the majority of people have such opposite beliefs, it was a struggle to understand what felt wrong, let alone put my finger on why.
We were told as kids that life would be simple. (Not easy, simple.) Find something you love in middle school or high school, go to college, get a degree, find a job, do well, work hard, earn money, have fun…repeat.
But it’s not that simple and not just because the world changed. (But also a little bit because the world changed.)
I think something else I realized was how much that model depended on someone else.
Someone else would decide if your passion was worth pursuing. Someone else would decide if the degree you wanted would support you. Someone else would decide if there was even a job available to you.
Someone else would decide if you were doing “the right thing”.
So many of us were criticized for moving jobs often, in search of something that lit us up. So many of us were critical of ourselves for not “adulting” properly or for not having it all figured out.
But maybe all along we were trying to fit a square peg in a round hole because someone else said it belonged there.
Societal pressure to achieve certain milestones (at certain times) hampers our ability to be who we were meant to be.
“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?” — Charles Bukowski
And the societal pressure I grew up with as a kid has only increased with time and technology.
Technology has brought us so much, made us capable of so much. But it has also deprived us of minds that are capable of being at rest, bodies that are strong and healthy, and supportive relationships.
All of these are just symptoms though, they’re not the root of the problem.
The root of the problem is that we tried to fill a space that was supposed to be empty. Not every garage needs a car, not every shelf needs books, not every wall needs photos.
I’m not saying our lives should be devoid of everything, but actually that the space (physical, mental, emotional) allows us to be better, do better, feel better.
Being okay with some aspects of our lives “not going anywhere” or slowing down brings greater meaning to everything else.
But of course, this opinion is not popularized by society at large. It’s not appealing to the masses to promote anti-consumerism. It’s not sexy to spend time alone with your thoughts.
Intentional, slow, thoughtful living will most likely keep to the quiet places. It will probably never be thoroughly and honestly discussed on a talk show, or seen widely on social media.
The concept of “the small things” is one that must be promoted in the same way it is found. Through introspection, thoughtful discussions, and quiet demonstrations.
You may already know someone who values the small things in some area of their life. You might already value those small things.
I believe in the power of the small things. I believe they have value. Perhaps even more value than anything else we were told mattered.
It has taken me a long time to define these beliefs. It has taken me a long time to be strong enough to pursue these beliefs.
“The Mind, once enlightened, cannot again become dark.” — Thomas Paine
I cannot go back to the ignorance of before, where I let others decide for me.
And I feel a small power in sharing my experiences, values, and thoughts, in the hope that I might unlock some secret door for someone else. Someone who might feel trapped by the pressures or expectations of modern life.
Someone else who cannot quite find their purpose or put their finger on what feels wrong.
I hope, for that someone, I can be a light that shines a way back to the small things.
