“Let’s Fornicate Where All Those People Were Murdered!” — Fixing Horror Movie Cliches

Let’s create some new horror movie cliches, shall we?

I love the horror genre.

But there’s no denying that it’s well-stocked with countless cliches that even the most casual viewer could set their watch to.

As a fan of originality and a budding horror writer myself, I believe it is my divine duty to hunt down these cliches and transform them into fresh, new plot devices.

Here, I’ve picked one of the most common horror movie cliches — the “people who have sex get killed” cliche — and penned an alternative in a short story that is as frightening and unsettling as it is brilliant and innovative.

Enjoy!

As Wesley steered the car through the winding country roads, he couldn’t stop thinking about all of the steamy premarital fun he and Barbara were going to have at Camp Mineral Pond.

“I think we’re close,” he said. “My manly senses tell me so.” Wesley turned to Barbara and smirked. She rolled her eyes; Wesley’s self-narrating wit never knew how to take a vacation, even when they were on vacation.

Wesley turned his attention back to the road and smiled to himself. Man, I can’t wait to declare war on Barbara’s virginity.