Women love your married buddy.

It’s true. They can’t resist that guy.

Every once in a while I’m fortunate enough to sit down with a good fellow who’s just committed himself to the love of his life. I admire him. He has pledged to be courageous, vulnerable, humble, and completely selfless in his every thought and action. He has been reborn as a man who is no-longer half of himself. He belongs to her as she belongs to him. Imagine the great beauty waiting for him as he explores her for eternity.

I’ll buy a congratulatory round of shots, and we hiss and exchange our expressions of disgust while trying to recover. I’m not actually sure why society has accepted, and even indoctrinated, the shooting of alcohol as a symbol of celebration. It’s yucky.

My inquiry begins. “So… How is it?” As if it’s that simple. He smiles. “It’s pretty awesome,” as if it’s that simple. It’s common knowledge that marriage is one of the most stressful events in each life, and I’m relieved to hear the positive sentiment behind these accomplished words.

We continue with a pitcher of beer as he attempts to itemize each event and its correlating logistic and emotion. He spares the details of intimacy with his wife, as his words are no-longer his own. I silently respect his tact, for it’s a characteristic of great men.

As he finishes the matrimonial table of content, social comparisons will begin to arise between the single life and his evolution into marriage. We’ll chuckle at a wide range of light hearted anecdotes about how he has to do the dishes or search through a “sea of feminine products” in his medicine cabinet to find something that she told him he needs to use. Each story carries with it the notion that he wouldn’t trade his new life for anything. We’ll throw our heads back in laughter and slap each other on the back while carelessly spilling beer and memories.

Eventually, we’ll start talking about his new status as it relates to the social dynamic of the watering hole, and the mood drastically changes. His face whitens with fear as he leans in to whisper,

“Dude, since i’ve been married, women haven’t stopped hitting on me.”

This has to be the funniest thing that I hear married men say, closely followed by “It’s not fucking funny!” Alright, I’m sorry. It’s not funny. It’s actually terrifying to any good man who wants to love his wife and be faithful while still going out for drinks with his buddies. The scarier (and funnier) thing is that he has no idea why. Women didn’t pay THIS much attention to him when he was single!

“What the hell is going on?!”

Relax man. You’ve actually given us single guys a few things to think about. Although you don’t like your new role as a savory piece of man ass, we appreciate it. :)

There are quite a few factors in play here. Some are biologically driven, some are social shortcuts, and others come about from the comfort of not giving a shit whether you meet anyone. Here are 3 of them. Single guys, listen close.

1. He is Preselected by women.

Preselection is one of those biologically driven reasons that women are attracted to men. In simple terms it works like this:

Women are instinctually attracted to the men that other women are attracted to.

I’m not just talking about humans. There have been many studies on the subject of Preselection and “mate choice copying” in various animals. They’ve found that if given the option between a lone male and a male sexually interacting with a female, females of the same species will try to mate with the sexually interactive male. This holds true even if the lone male is brighter in color and bigger in stature than the other one. Take a look for yourself.

So, do women have a choice in the matter?

Of course they do. Our ability to choose against our instincts is what separates us from most other species. Both women and men are capable of ethical judgement, and have a responsibility to it in any social situation. Once women find out that the man is married, they should back off. Good women will. If they don’t, that dude needs to recognize it and get the fuck outta there.

What does this mean for single men?

Guys. It’s fun to go out with your buddies and beat your chests and howl at the moon. Just remember, you’re more likely to be noticed by women if you’re with other women. They’ll assume you’re not a creep. They’ll become far more approachable, and maybe even approach you. Go out with your girlfriends. Women make the best wingmen.

2. He’s not thinking about sex.

He’s already having sex, and he’s doing it with someone he loves. That shit is better than Christmas. When he goes out with us lone wolves, he doesn’t salivate over every set of hips that swings by our table. This brings me to an important point:

Women can tell when we’re thinking about sex;

moreover, they’re better than men at reading facial expressions in others. If you’re constantly thinking about getting laid, women can see the angst no matter how good your poker face is. The problem is that their observation comes with a set of assumptions, and rarely are they good.

A man preoccupied with sex is either not having enough or having too much.

If you’re wearing a dry-spell on your sleeve, women will sense it and question if there’s something wrong with you. This relates to Preselection, remember? Women want to be with the man that other women want.

On the flip side, a man who over-indulges his sexuality will begin to objectify his partners. Each interaction will become about the sex rather than benefit of a relationship. Eventually, that man won’t be able to satisfy his appetite and an addiction is born. Good women know this and will keep away. If this man is you, you can get help.

So, we should stop thinking about sex?

That’s the idea. Look, I know it’s easier said than done. Keep this in mind. Sex is inevitable if you forge a meaningful attraction with a woman. Women want sex as much as men do, and probably enjoy it more than men when it’s done well. This is true whether it happens on the first night or on the honeymoon. However, you’re not going to sleep with anyone who doesn’t like being around you. When you’re out on the town, make sure you’re having a good time. When you’re not, keep your focus on becoming someone of value. The sex will come.

If it helps, rub one out. It’s fine.

3. He doesn’t give a shit.

It’s that simple. This man is content with his beer and his buddies.

• He isn’t fumbling over his words or questioning himself.
• When he meets new people, he isn’t nervous. He knows that none of them really matter that much.
• He’s figured out that women are just women. How relaxing is that?
• He’s having a good time despite of what’s happening around him. In effect, those around him have a good time.
• He keeps interactions light-hearted, because he doesn’t need to be bothered with heavier things right now.
• He stands tall, smiles wide, leans back in his chair, and laughs aloud. Why not?

The fundamental quality that he carries with him is confidence. That, my friends, is why women love this man.

Lone wolves, be confident just like him. You have great value just like him. You deserve to be with a good woman just like him.

And thanks again married buddy. You’ve done us all, and society itself, a great service.