Why Do We Wait?
My Labradorite bracelet broke today. True, it was strung on a simple piece of elastic cord, and I had seen it stretching for quite some time. I knew the break was coming. I’m grateful that it broke in the shower where I could quickly put my foot over the drain and stop the pieces from escaping.
As an avid kayaker, I’m usually on the water at least once a week and every time, I would think to myself, “This is going to break soon, I should fix it.” But I didn’t. and for that I am truly grateful. It didn’t break in the clear spring water, where Labradorite’s greenish color would blend in perfectly with the algae covered bottom, or in the river where the water visibility is literally about four inches.
Instead, it broke in a contained area where I was able to rescue all the pieces and I can easily restring them onto a new elastic cord. But… I knew it was coming. Why did I wait?
Like many of you, my heart breaks as I watch the situation in Afghanistan continue to unfold, or closer to home where a toddler found a loaded gun and shot and killed their mother while she was on a Zoom meeting in her own home… There is no shortage of shock or sadness in the news these days. However, the trauma for everyone in either of these situations is so enormous to me that I find myself asking this question again and again, “Why do we refuse to see things until they are truly broken? Why must we wait to fix things until AFTER the shit hits the fan?
The US government has known for years that the Taliban would retake Afghanistan as soon as we left. They’ve known for months that a better plan was needed to securely evacuate the Afghan nationals who’ve been working with us for all these years and yet, only in the final days, as the Taliban gained more and more ground, did plans begin to take shape. By then it was too late.
And what of the scourge of gun violence in our country? How many more senseless shootings must we endure before this nation will finally embrace Common Sense Gun Laws? How will this father look at his child, knowing his wife was killed by their hand? And, what of the child? How does this little one grow up without a mother, knowing they are the reason she is not there? How can this family mend and when will we finally be ready to fix this broken aspect of our national life?
Even as I ask these questions, I am aware of our ability to remain stiff-necked and arrogant. At the same time, I’m also reminded of our immense capacity to overcome and adapt, like in the story of the farmer whose donkey fell down a well. Unable to rescue the animal, the farmer decides the humane thing to do is bury him alive. Yet with each shovel of dirt the famer tossed down the hole, the donkey shook it off his back and stomped it down under his feet.
Eventually, the farmer shoveled enough dirt to fill in the hole and the donkey was able to climb out. The donkey was able to adapt to his broken situation, and while I’m unsure if donkeys are capable of higher reasoning, humans certainly are.
So, why is it still so hard for us to “step up?” How do we continue to absorb trauma after trauma and yet be so unwilling to change a single thing?
If something breaks, how willing are you to fix it? Humans are so resilient and can conquer insurmountable odds. While this can be to our benefit, it can also be detrimental if, every time something breaks, we just shake our heads and stomp it down. Too often we are simply unwilling to learn the lesson. I am guilty as anyone, even for something as a simple beaded bracelet on my wrist.
Anyone could see the cord was stretching and know the break was coming, yet I still did nothing. I knew it could happen in a place where I’d lose it all and still, nothing. I don’t have an answer as to why we are the way we are (or why I am the way I am), perhaps that’s just human nature but, I for one, am going to try and learn this lesson, to see the things perhaps we just don’t want to see. Or to see something that needs to be fixed and attempt to do something about it before it’s too late. Care to join me?
