Why I Started the Southeast Asia Conversation
Or: Why I Start Things I’m Not Prepared For
The Southeast Asia Conversation started because of a woman from Israel.
She started an organization that addresses sexual abuse and human trafficking, and is present in more than 60 countries around the world. When you meet her in person, she’s thoughtful and kind, even soft-spoken. But you can tell she’s unstoppable, and that she truly loves and cares about people enough to give her time to this cause.
Last June, she visited San Francisco to spread the word about her organization. It was there that I found out that, just the week prior, she was diagnosed with a very serious condition. The doctors gave her three months to live. I stood there, shocked. She was only 31 years old.
She was still processing it all. “I have so much left to do,” she said. At that point, a lot of people would stop what they’re doing in life, and just spend the last months they have with their loved ones. But she was so grounded in her purpose. You could already tell, by looking at her face, that she wasn’t going to stop promoting her cause. That she would set up her organization with powerful leaders who would continue to expand its reach — regardless of what the future holds. And guess what — to this day, she’s still doing all that. Her momentum has only increased.
All that made me wonder: If I had a limited time to live, what is something worth doing that is worth my one, precious life?
And then it hit me.
I realized that a big part of why I chose to become a writer and film director is because I wanted to create films that bring forth a new reality in Southeast Asia.
I declared that to my leadership team that same evening — and they told me that they would hold me to my word.
But I walked away from that night, thinking — I gotta think about this.
I’m part of a 1-year leadership program in San Francisco, and I’m continuously surrounded by leaders who speak to me as my fullest potential as a human being. This means that — when I say “I can’t do it” — they kick my butt, call me out, and refuse to take my bullshit.
A couple weeks passed after that fateful day, and though I thought about Southeast Asia, I had no intent to start anything. Not just yet. I like to work things out in my head and plan things in detail. And then, when I’m ready — I can tell people about it.
“Hey Miss Myra. What’s going on with Southeast Asia?” my leadership coach asked me. We were on break during a leadership training session.
“I need to think about it more,” I said.
She gave me a very familiar look — her take no bullshit stare. “Well, when are you gonna start?”
“I gotta think about this, though,” I replied, frustrated. “Like, how can I even think of doing this? I’m going to film school. I still have my other projects that I’m focusing on. There are so many people out there who are more qualified, who know more than me about Southeast Asia, who are already in this work. So many people have tried!”
At that, she looked at me. “Yes. But have you tried?”
That stopped me.
“Do you think Gandhi, Mandela, or Martin Luther King stopped what they were doing because they thought to themselves ‘I don’t have time for this’ or ‘I’m not good enough’?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “But… what if I fail?”
“Then you fail. Look — what is your commitment? What is worth your life that you would fail at it again and again? Don’t you think the transformation of Southeast Asia is worth all of that?”
I couldn’t deny it. “Yes.”
That same week, I grounded myself in my commitment. I cleared out all my concerns with a couple people I trust.
Then I wrote a post. And The Southeast Asia Conversation (SEAC) was born.
I never majored in Southeast Asian studies, or international studies for that matter. I don’t currently live in Southeast Asia, and the time I spent there was mostly in the Philippines, which was more than a decade ago. Since then, I’ve been visiting the Philippines at least once a year. I’ve been to Singapore twice. To Indonesia once. I went to Thailand for a month. I barely know what ASEAN is up to.
All my life, I’ve been raised to choose goals where I have a high likelihood of success. Avoid failure. Be safe. Be prepared.
And yet, as human beings, how many times have we stopped ourselves from reaching for something, doing something of importance in the world, because we thought to ourselves that we weren’t good enough? With the Southeast Asia Conversation, I started something I’m not prepared to do. But I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter whether you’re prepared or not, because once you’ve made a commitment to something, all of that will be sorted out, eventually. All it takes is grit, humor, and patience.
And it’s not like my concerns don’t come up again and again in the course of this project. As I come across different challenges with SEAC, a question keeps repeating itself in my mind: Am I good enough for Southeast Asia? Am I doing it right? Do people care? Are they still interested? Can they hear me?
In those moments, I have a choice to set those concerns aside, and instead ask the most important question of all:
What does it look like for Southeast Asia to be powerful, fully self-expressed, and an enormous contribution to the world? And how can we get there — together?
