CONFESSIONS OF A SOUTHERN FATHER (CONTINUED)

Stephen Harris

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Published in

The Southern Voice

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2 min read

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Jul 24, 2024

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THE WADING POOL

Nothing completes a poverty scene better than a faded yellow mobile home and a child’s wading pool cooking in the oppressive southern sun. Our pool was blue, if my recollection is correct. I’ll always wonder why my color-coordinated better half didn’t buy a yellow one to match the trailer. Martha Stewart would have been aghast at our lack of taste.

A moment’s inattention can cause a father’s heart attack, but it also can provide great insight into your children’s minds.

A gurgling sound caught my attention after taking just a moment to watch a red Stearman biplane do aerobatics near our home.

After turning to the sound, I found my oldest instructing her sister on the fine art of drinking water instead of breathing. The sight froze my legs for a moment as she dunked her sister again, counted to three, jerked her out of the water, and, after one watery inhale, pushed her under again a split second before she could scream.

But before old Dad could come to her rescue the Cosmo’s aligned and the good Lord let his punishment rein without my interference. The baby, now a year and a half old, balled her tiny fist and whacked her sister on the flat of her nose. My oldest child’s face grew tight with pain, and she hurled a blood-curdling scream.

“Dad-dee! Sister hit meeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”

Oh, if life would always be so simple and just. Of course, when old Dad decided the oldest needed a little more reinforcement for trying to drown her baby sister, I ended up getting a bite myself. Our Australian Shepard didn’t take kindly to me, tanning her little legs with a switch. She promptly took a bite out of my leg. Now, how can you punish the family dog for protecting your child? I gave her a treat instead.