CONFESSIONS OF A SOUTHERN FATHER

Stephen Harris

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The Southern Voice

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3 min read

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Jul 17, 2024

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CHAPTER FIVE

THE EARLY YEARS

“Damn,” my oldest loudly said, trying out a new word. “Damn,” the youngest repeated, mimicking her sibling. My eyes cut toward the kitchen while shaking my head at them, hoping that Better Half hadn’t heard their increasing vocabulary.

“What did you say?” she cried shrilly, her face tighter than the old women who sat on the Amen pew at church.

I was sure hoping my daughters would catch their mother’s tone and give the usual child answer for everything. “Nothing.”

“Damn,” the oldest repeated plainly, her chin held high and brown eyes sparkling with intelligence. “Damn,” the youngest mimicked while running in circles on wobbly legs. “Damn, damn, damn,” she cried, trying to outdo her sister, who she loved and sometimes hated.

“Ruck Ro!” I knew this was rolling down the mountain and smacking me upside the head. Yesterday, they’d followed me around the yard as I attempted to dig up and fix a leaky water line. And the repair hadn’t gone so well.

“Deny, deny, deny!” my mind screamed. “The best defense is a good offense. Attack,” I thought, “Get the shields up.”

“I really wish,” this daddy stated quickly with a loud, dramatic exhale, “That your brother would watch his language around my girls!”

Better Half fixed me with a steely eye and shot back, “They haven’t seen their uncle in a month.”

“Dang, I forgot about that!”

“Well, it wasn’t me,” I replied haughtily as new money trying to order prime rib from a truck stop menu. “You must have slipped.” As always, my lovely wife cut right to the chase.

“Are you going to correct them or not,” she demanded. “If not, I will!” She was firmly convinced this man was a bad influence in their lives. Battle lines were being drawn. Correction of my girls was and would always be my domain. And I didn’t much cotton to anyone invading my territory.

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

In the natural world, mothers wring their hands about their children’s health and safety, but fathers generally concentrate on their success. In my opinion, that is the way it is supposed to be. If you don’t believe in disciplining your children, please feel free to skip the next few paragraphs.

Children are starting with a severe handicap if they are led to believe the world was created for their own entertainment. They will fight over toys, call each other names, and steal little things, and if this is not corrected at a very young age, the crimes will grow as they mature. Nature’s discipline tool, the switch, is effective and harmless; it can’t bruise or maim but can and will get the undivided attention of any child. Then, the corrective lesson can be taught with the students' utmost attention.

It amazes me that the government is always getting involved in things best left to the family. Here are a couple of examples of how the government operates.

Example # 1.

You’re zipping down the highway in your new sports car, top down if you wish, doing seventy miles an hour through a school zone. The police will quickly stop you and issue a very expensive ticket. Why, you ask? It’s punishment for your crime.

Example # 2

You get angry and whack someone over the head with a two-by-four or a heavy purse during those Black Friday sales. The police (government) will arrest you, and you’ll spend the next couple of years in the crossbar motel. Why, you ask? Simple, it’s punishment for your crime.

Example # 3.

The most extreme example is capital punishment. You take someone’s life, and in turn, the government will stick a needle in your arm. Why, you ask? It’s punishment for your crime. But what does the government say about punishing your own children for small crimes as they grow? That you can’t! Funny, it seems to work for them.