Things I hate about being an adult: The great big list of adulting
Being an adult is one of the most irritating things in the world.
Being an adult is one of the most irritating things in the world. Having to do ‘adult’ things is all about taking that dull stuff you learnt growing up and putting it into practice. BORING. There are some cool things about being an adult, like buying your first house or being able to eat as much ice-cream as you want when you’re paying, but here’s a long list of all the stuff I hate about being an adult.
1// It’s suddenly a bad thing to be ‘childish’. I like being silly, I like getting into my pyjamas when I get in from work, I bloody love jumpers with dinosaurs on, and I still sleep with my teddy. Let me enjoy it!
2// You’re expected to become an expert at something. But you need to figure out exactly what that is around Year 9 so you choose the right subjects, and then the right university degree, and then the right first job. Want to do something different when you turn 25? Back to the beginning of the career ladder for you, lassie.
3// Apparently a bag of Quavers and a share pack of Minstrels isn’t a meal. Whatever.
4// Shopping for paint to decorate your living room sounds really exciting when you’ve never done it before. In reality, it’s one of the most mundane tasks as a homeowner. If you decide to shop before you’ve properly researched whether to use gloss, matte, smooth sheen, emulsion, enamel, satin, blah blah blah, then you’ve got a problem. I just concentrated on the names instead — Whispering Peach, anyone?
5// Putting the bins out is a pain in the arse. There is no convenient time for this annoying chore, and you’re guaranteed to find something else to put in said bins as soon as you’ve walked them to the curb.
6// Paying taxes when you’re self-employed is the most confusing thing ever, and for no good reason. Teach us how to navigate HMRC’s websites at school and the problem’s solved I reckon.
7// Making decisions isn’t my strongest point, and I married a guy exactly the same. So you can guess what we’re like as adults who have to choose things on a deadline — like a house, or electricians, or a wedding date.
8// Going to an appointment as a kid was easy. Your parents would arrange it, you’d get picked up from school and then dropped back again — simple. As an adult, you have to do the entire thing yourself. Phone up to book the appointment (stress), decide the best time that fits with your plans (never), arrange time off work for it (difficult), get to the appointment by public transport (argh), get all the way back again (ARGH), and then make up the time you missed from work (annoying).
9// You’re expected to just know everything as an adult, despite not having nearly as much time to learn eeeeverything before you’re thrust into being one. Need to make a money budget? YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS. Want to change a plug socket? YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT. Want to buy a house? FIGURE IT OUT, IDIOT.
10// Having to clean the oven yourself. I mean, I get that it helps all your food not taste like pasta bake and to stop the a torrent of smoke hitting you in the face when you open the door. But…effort. Have it? Not meeeee.
11// The assumption that because you just got married, you’re going to be having babies soon. Some people want to wait, some people don’t want them at all, and some people simply can’t. Unfriendly advice to nosy adults — back off.
12// Paying energy bills feels like a complete waste of money as an adult, especially when you find out that the supply itself comes from exactly the same place. You just need to pick which company you want to pay the least money to and get the best customer service from. Sometimes, you get that completely wrong. Sigh.
13// Kids can be annoying, but adults are dicks. I’ve come across my fair share of wankers unfortunately, and when you are an adult you have to deal with them like an adult. You’re not allowed to hit, cry, or take their toys and run off.
14// You’re in that annoying stage between paying for child’s ticket and paying for a senior citizen’s ticket. Where’s my discount for just simply being?
15// All your money as an adult goes on everything you don’t want to pay for. As a kid, you either got everything bought for you or your pocket money covered the essentials — comics, Calippos and those 10p bags of crisps from the newsagents. Now all my money goes on council tax and some place called Santander.
16// Ironing. That can just bugger right off.
Originally published at This City Life.