Why Natural Isn’t Necessarily Authentic
It’s only natural to want to be authentic.
I once thought to be authentic meant to be natural.
After going natural for two years, I now know this isn’t true.
Stripping things back to basics doesn’t automatically reward you with the feeling of authenticity, although I wish it did.
It simply allows you to start from scratch and build up a new, improved authentic self if the one you once had isn’t working for you anymore.
I started chasing authenticity at the start of 2020 when I stopped straightening my hair.
Some might say I was given a free pass to stop trying when the Covid pandemic pushed us all into our homes 24/7. And they might be right.
At the start of 2020, I was 30 and overthinking about the past, present, future, highs, lows, traumas, and joys as I assessed where I was, who I was before and what I wanted to be.
To me, quitting straightening was an act of rebellion and control as I felt I’d lost myself to other people and that my natural self wasn’t enough for this world.
I thought a lot about my child-like self that was both natural and authentic, which stung during a time where I felt I was neither.
Ditching the hot tools after 15 years reintroduced me to the big curly hair I had as a kid.
My curls felt natural and like I was unleashing a part of myself I had kept hidden for years.
Visually I was telling the truth about who I was, but I didn’t feel too authentic. Instead, I felt unconfident and exposed.
Committed to the natural cause I spent months convinced that stopping the straightener would be a worthy trade as I’d eventually feel more ‘me’.
I started experimenting with natural looks and products and to be honest, was left feeling as though it is way more work than straightening.
For some it’s less, for me it wasn’t.
I’d have to wet my hair and apply products daily, which meant I’d need to diffuse or air dry.
Half the time I’d get through the 3–6-hour styling process and end up sticking it an updo anyway.
I also had multiple bad and expensive curly hair cuts that made me mourn for the days where hairdressers didn’t trigger anxiety, and I’d leave with the sleek straight cut I had asked for.
While I’ve had good curly hair days too, I’ve realized that just because I was born with it doesn’t mean it’s authentically me.
I’d like to think of my authentic self as more of a chameleon on the inside and out who happens to like different things on different days.
So, I went back to straightening my hair because I found that being natural doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being authentic.
Perhaps you, like me, are trying to be more authentic. In that case, stripping yourself back to the basics is a good place to start.
You could find that who you are is exactly who you want to be.
But if you don’t and are willing to admit it, I think that’s authentic too.
