Minding Other People’s Business: Nosy or Caring?
Helping others’ with their problems is a very good thing and very normal to do as a human being. We are encouraged to do so by the system in our brain. In psychology, it is called prosocial behavior. It is the drive in our nature that makes us want to help others. One aspect that motivates us to help would be seeing a greater commonality with someone. With the Internet, we can see commonality with anyone, ranging from our relatives to a public figure. The problem is, the people we are trying to help do not always need or even value our opinion or action as a help. They might just see us as a busybody. Therefore, I believe that we should stop minding other people’s business for three reasons.
First, minding other people’s business may suggest that we do not respect their choice and privacy. We have to remember that they have every right to live their life the way they want to, just like how we would like to lead our life according to our rules. Something might concerns us, but we have to trust that they have thought it through and that if they need our help or suggestions, they will ask. In other words, we do not live in their shoes, and in cases where we are not involved in the problem, there is no reason for us to barge in someone’s life.
Second, minding people’s business can affect their mental health. Our attempt to help might sound judgmental, and it can make them feel worse. In 2016, Samantha Pottinger, a woman diagnosed with depression, wrote in her article for Time to Change, “All these supposedly ‘inspirational’ messages ‘Follow your dreams!’, ‘achieve anything you want!’ ‘just think positively!’ can be so damaging and often do the opposite of inspiring people.” We have to remember that our words and action can influence people not only in a positive way, regardless of our motive. People who are close to us will very much value our opinion and so do public figures when they read our comments. We have to be mindful of what we say or do when we try to help. Therefore, if we are not sure if it is necessary, we might as well stay out of it.
Lastly, minding other people’s business is not beneficial for us. We can live a much more peaceful life without it. We never realize how much doing it can consume us until we let go of it. We will have more space in our mind and time in our live to think about more important things that truly matters, which is our own problems. What I realize from my own experience is that we sometimes just have to let others live their life and let them be. We have to take a step back and learn our boundaries because we are not responsible for their life. When we have come to that realization, it is liberating.
In conclusion, minding other people’s business is not respectful to their privacy and right to choose, not good for their mental health, and has no benefit for us. As said by Mark Manson said in his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, when we choose to mind our own business rather than others’, it does not mean we care less about them. It is not an act of being indifferent. We just trust them enough with their own judgment, and we will be ready to help when asked.
