How to Pick (or be) a Good Mentor

By Mikhael Simmonds

Everyone isn’t cut out to be a mentor. It is not just about being skilled and experienced in a specific field. Truly excellent mentors are like a well balanced meal: part teacher, part therapist, part coach, all sprinkled with the right balance of tough love when needed.

Salt Bae sprinkles tough love.

But how do you choose or become a good mentor?

There is no silver bullet but here are some of the ingredients I’ve seen in the best mentors over the years.

• Honesty, Vulnerability, Patience, Humility and Compassion: Yup. I know it sounds all feel good and emotional but these qualities are important. Mentors need to be honest with their mentees and themselves. Some of the most impactful lessons a mentor can give are those learnt from personal experiences, especially from their own mistakes and failures. Sharing these helps mentees bond with mentors as well as teaches them the inner complexities of the field. Mentors should also remember that they were students once and empathize with the learning experience.

Not a mentee!

• Excellent Teachers: Mentees aren’t minions meant to go get coffee, print work, answer phones or just do your drudged work. Yes mentees should be team players and they may have a job within an organization. It’s also true that we all must do tedious or menial work at times. That said, the mentor-mentee relationship is similar to a teacher-student one. Mentors must teach, advise and help their wards grow. They should explain why things are done, give context and highlight opportunities that will benefit those they mentor. In short, DO NOT MENTOR IF YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO TEACH, AND SHARE KNOWLEDGE AND OPPORTUNITIES!

• Communication Skills: This is key. Whether it’s by phone, email or rhythmic interpretive dance, a good mentor communicates clearly. There are many people who are excellent in their field but are terrible at relating info. These people make terrible mentors. In the same breath, A-Class mentors don’t just preach and pontificate only to disappear into the night never to be seen again. Great mentors remember that the ‘co’ in communication stands for “together, mutually, in common.” These teachers know when to leave the preaching at home and just have a two-way conversation. This helps with constructive feedback as well. Approachability is also important here. Mentee’s shouldn’t be afraid of bringing up questions and issues to their mentors. In short, tyrants make terrible mentors… I’m looking at you Saddam.
• Commitment: Good mentors are committed to their fields and their mentees. This means that they are reliable and mostly accessible. They also recognize that they’re fostering someone else’s growth not just their own.

Hopefully this quick guide will help you figure out what it takes to be or find an awesome mentor and how to avoid people who just want to take advantage of your willingness and eagerness to learn.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a White House aid, a junior technician or a medical resident - a good mentor can make or break someone’s career.