It Just Goes to Show
How little we know about each other
I recently attended the wake of someone I thought I knew more about than I clearly did.
This person was regarded as a ‘salt of the Earth’ sort — and she was!
I’d go further and say, as far as the charity we both volunteered for, she was close to sainthood.
We had both, at one time, been much more closely associated with the main function of this charity — supporting those people who, for one reason or another, needed to talk about whatever it was that had become so difficult for them.
After many years of this direct involvement, we had both taken a seat further back from the sharp end and devoted ourselves to fundraising. This took the form of a stall selling donated goods in a large, local covered market.
Over the years the stall made a profit of tens of thousands of pounds for the charity. The lady of whom I write took on the responsibility of managing the collection, cleaning, storing and sorting of the donations and then the stocking of the stall.
She also took responsibility for the management of the volunteers who manned the stall when the market was open three times a week.
Years before, when she applied as a volunteer for the charity, I was part of the training team which prepared all those who were willing to offer their time to undertake duties successfully.
It was clear from those early days we were two very different people.
She later admitted, once we’d got to know each other better, that she thought I was ‘a middle-class, Tory voting do-gooder’.
I’m not sure I’m middle class — whatever that might mean, these days — I’ve NEVER voted for the Conservative party and, although I hope to say I am willing to do good things for my fellow humans, I wouldn’t like to think the negative implications of the term ‘do-gooder’ apply to me.
By that time, I’d been a volunteer with this charity for several years and I’d learned never to be judgemental of other people and allow them to talk and say what they needed to say.
It was obvious that I didn’t know anything at all about our new volunteer and I needed to learn.
Years later we had both found out a lot about each other and we even became more than just work colleagues and associates, but without becoming best friends.
I thought I knew a lot more about her than it turned out I did.
She died recently, the cause of which I’m unsure, though she was quite open about suffering from a chronic condition which may well have contributed to her end.
I attended her wake, with other members of our charity, to find she was a member of her local Baptist Church and that she had a strong Christian faith — I had no idea whatsoever!
It came as a complete surprise to hear from her daughter, her friends within the church, the Minister and family friends who she had known for many years previously.
She had never given me any inkling that a Christian faith was so important to her.
She was well respected by all who knew her, was — undoubtedly — ‘a character’ and she was hard working. There was a complete devotion to her family, the all-important market stall and our charity.
She was hilariously funny, engaging and loved by us all and yet I clearly didn’t know her anywhere near as well as I thought I did.
But I do miss her and she will be missed by our wider family of volunteers.
