Deathly Humour

My Wife Thinks She Probably Would, Maybe Choose Me Again

Her reason came as quite the shock

I’m lost but at least we haven’t used a lot of fuel getting lost. Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

It all started peaceably while putting the finishing touches on our revised Wills. Well, mine to be precise. I had purchased a farmhouse in Italy and I had to include it in my Last Will & Testament*.

• How many of you just asked yourselves — Do I have a Will?

I structured my will so that the children could not sell the farm easily. I wanted to be a pain in the arse from the grave and had devised a scheme, whereby they would have to spend time together at the farmhouse.

Which as it stands currently, is not an issue. We often get sibling lunch or dinner selfies with the four of them at some restaurant or another, smiling, while holding my credit card up with the caption, siblings enjoying dinner together, or words to that effect.

I too find it quite tough NOT to enjoy a free meal at a top London eatery. My wife thinks my credit cards are Musketeer cards — one for all and all for one.

Hers on the other hand have a veneer of dust on them like fine talcum powder.

I planned to put the farm into a Trust with the children as equal beneficiaries and I had earmarked a burial plot on the farm for my…