Humorous ‘Advice’
The Advice Column for All (Who Don’t Need It), Thanksgiving 2024
Dear Mrs. Miltoastque
Welcome back, my friends, enemies, and anyone in between who needs some advice from a random internet advice columnist.
All questions and answers are real in the multiverse, except for those that were made up for quality control.
Dear Mrs. Miltoastque:
My father has decided Thanksgiving is always the perfect day to “educate” everyone about his MAGA worldview. He’s got his rants about stolen elections, the “good old days,” and why we should all stop drinking oat milk ready to go annually.
It’s exhausting, and no one wants to argue over turkey. We are usually waiting for the tryptophan to kick in. Is there a polite way to shut this down without turning the cranberry sauce bowl into a weapon?
Signed, Literally Losing My Liberal Mind
Dear Liberal Mind:
Ah yes, the sacred Thanksgiving tradition: turkey, stuffing, and your dad serving up a heaping side of MAGA nonsense. How charming.
You could try redirecting him with questions about football or Aunt Linda’s latest casserole catastrophe, but let’s be honest — he’s not letting go of that megaphone.
