Member-only story
Three Traits I Look for in Friends and Writers
The people worthy of your time and company
I have been running an experiment for eight years. It began when I published my first book. I added the standard copyright infringement warning on the first page:
- “Copyright@MalkyMcEwan
The right of Malky McEwan to be identified as the author… blah, blah, blah”
You know, the stuff nobody reads.
For my amusement, I slipped this into my copyright warning:
- “Death by chocolate is not a punishment available under this act.”
The copyright warnings in my second and third books included:
- “So, put down that pen, or I’ll stuff it up your arse.”
- “…or else he’ll stomp his feet, fold his arms and go in the huff for half an hour.”
Not one person has ever commented on these.
But who reads copyright warnings? Bobby Newbiggan, that’s who. But Bobby is a tad ridiculorum. His favourite book is Play With Your Own Marbles by John Wright. He’s a nice guy, but it’s a struggle to get a giggle from him.
Bobby is the only one I know who reads terms and conditions, in full. Every clause. Every word. Every bloody colon and comma. A study found that 97% of 543…
