Standings, updated 7/19/17

Comey with a lowkey 2–0 start

James Harden: 280,000,000–1

Barry O: 400,000–0

James Comey: 2–0

Snap Hot Dog: 1–0

Colin Kaepernick: 1–0

Lonzo Ball: 1–0

Gay People: 1–0

Lebron James: 1–0

Lewis Hamilton: 1–0

PK Subban: 1–0

Peter and Alice Livesey: 1–0

Melania Trump: 1–0

Angela Merkel: 1–0

Aziz Ansari: 1–0

Jordan Peele: 1–0

France: 1–0

Diddy: 1–0

Jeff Bridges: 1–0

The Ball Family: 1–0

Steph Curry: 1–0

Jeb Bush: 1–0

Kid Rock: 1–0

Serena Williams Fetus: 1–0

Michael Jordan: 1–0

Post Malone: 1–0

Rich Chigga: 1–0

North Korea: 1–0

Jeff Goldblum: 1–0

Boston: 1–1

Donald Trump: 1–1

Borderline L for this pic, not counting it though

Stephen Adamson: 1–2

James Mwaura: 1–2

Mexico: 1–1

New Orleans: 0–0–1

Aaron Hernandez: 1–2

Chick-Fil-A: 0–1

Theresa May: 0–1

Chipotle: 0–1

Rob Kardashian: 0–1

Hillary Clinton: 0–1

This girl stays taking L’s

Vladimir Putin: 0–1* (*L only for show, should be W)

Tiger Woods: 0–1

Qatar: 0–1

Bill Maher: 0–1

CNN: 0–1

The Free World: 0–1

Katy Perry: 0–1

People with pre-existing conditions: 0–1

Dudes who drink Soylent: 0–1

Glaciers: 0–1

Google: 0–1

Ted Cruz: 0–1

Ja Rule: 0–1

Elle

Confederacy: 0–1

ISIS: 0–1

Kawhi Leonard: 0–1

Derrick Rose: 0–1

Bill O’Reilly: 0–1

Pence Family: 0–2

Ivanka Trump: 0–2