When You Lose Everything

I never met my father. My mother was stuck in a revolving door between substance abuse and prison and my aunt raised me from when I was 11 months until 17. She tried her best, but we often struggled on public assistance living in the Bronx, NYC. When I turned 17, my aunt said, “You have to make your own way now. I can’t take care of you anymore.”

But there was nowhere else to go. I crashed at a relative’s house, but quickly learned I could not stay there forever. I found myself walking around NYC, wondering where I would sleep. A friend’s house? A train station? Central Park? I was 19, in Manhattan with no place to call home. I thought of all the stereotypes about homeless people I’d heard growing up. Now I was one of them.

But here’s the thing about hitting rock bottom — when you lose everything, you realize how very strong you are. I experienced intense hunger, and freezing cold. Slowly, I began to realize I could survive. And if I could survive those things, then maybe I could survive anything. Maybe I was stronger than I realized. Maybe you are too.

I thought of all the stereotypes about homeless people I’d heard growing up. Now I was one of them.

Even when I was out there, completely alone, I made a decision to stop focusing on my past, and began to ask myself, how will I move forward? I found a homeless shelter where I could stay for a while. My first week there I remember lying in bed and opening Howard Schultz’s book “Onward: How Starbucks Fought for its Life without Losing its Soul.”

There was something about this book’s message that spoke to me. Howard was optimistic in the face of challenges. He was certain and bold. During that first week in the shelter I would spend every day walking around Manhattan searching for a job, and at night I would return to the shelter to read Howard’s book. While the other young men were sleeping, I used my cell phone light to read it cover to cover. I internalized it’s message of leadership and I would use it to encourage myself whenever I felt down. Soon, I began signing all of my emails and text messages with his famous signature “Onward.”

I kept a keychain in my pocket that symbolized what I wanted most in life, a picture of a house with a welcome mat. I’d be in tears when I held it. For me it was like holding on to hope. I became a Starbucks barista on my 20th birthday. I still worked two other jobs simultaneously so that I could save up enough money for a home of my own.

But at that point it was clear for me that Starbucks was the path for me. Not only was I deeply inspired by its founder but also by how much Starbucks gives back to the communities it serves around the world. There was integrity in the organization and a sense of community that I wanted to be part of. I began to work full time at Starbucks and although I didn’t know it at the time, my store partners would eventually become a huge part of my life.

I kept a keychain in my pocket that symbolized what I wanted most in life, a picture of a house with a welcome mat.

After six months with Starbucks, I was promoted to shift supervisor. After another six months I became an assistant store manager. I was able to move into my very first apartment. That first night I was overwhelmed with emotion. It sounds silly, but I kept walking around the space and doing things like opening and closing the cabinets, looking in the fridge, sitting on the couch and running my hand over the fabric of the pillows. I couldn’t believe it was really mine, and that I was really safe. I couldn’t ever remember feeling that way before. I finally had a place to call home.

One year and a few months after that, I was promoted to store manager. I had changed my life and in the process I fell in love with Starbucks — the company and its partners. I was finally a part of something. I belonged.

Throughout my journey I would still have bad days where it all felt too much for me. On those days, when the negatives seemed to outweigh the positives, I made it my goal to uplift the moods of as many customers as possible. I found that if I could cheer them up and connect with them, even if just for a brief moment, it would also lift my spirit. I believe that being in service to others does something good for the soul. Working at Starbucks has taught me it’s the little things — the smallest gestures of kindness — that define a person’s experience. How you treat others will ultimately define how you feel about yourself.

I’ve learned life is filled with obstacles and you can’t change that. But no matter what challenges you face, you always, always have a say in who you are and in the kind of person you will be. I couldn’t help where I was born or what happened to me, but with the right attitude, I could certainly do something about it. That’s a choice that’s available to anyone.

I was finally a part of something. I belonged.