Useless Google Apps That Are (Probably) Useless to Discuss
The existence of a registration fee on the Google Play Store does not mean that all apps there, are useful apps.
About Google Play Store
Based on an article published by Jatimtech, the Google Play Store is an entertainment distribution service operated and developed by Google, a multinational company from the United States (US) that focuses on internet services and product activities. Broadly speaking, the Google Play Store is a distribution service that is comparable in level to the App Store maintained by Apple for their operating systems (OS).
In fact, the Google Play Store was originally named Android Market and has been managed since October 22, 2008. Then, the name officially changed to Google Play Store on March 6, 2012.
Functioning as a ‘meeting point’ between entertainment content with Android OS users, this service allows Android users to browse and access content or download apps that have been developed with the Android software development tool or what is generally considered as the Android SDK or Software Development Kit.
Widely, the Android SDK is a creation system for apps that will run on the Android OS. At first glance, it is more or less the same as the App Store. The difference is that the App Store is a distribution service for apps developed with the iOS SDK.
As previously explained, the Google Play Store is useful as a medium for distributing entertainment content. That means, not only apps that can be accessed by Android users but there is also movie and book content that can be enjoyed. Prestigious content titles such as Marvel Studios’ Avengers: Endgame and SagaraS books can be enjoyed at a relatively affordable cost.
One of the biggest differences between the Google Play Store and the App Store is the security system. According to BR Atsit, the App Store has better standards regarding user security. Security requirements for apps to be distributed through the App Store are much more difficult than the Google Play Store. In addition, BR Atsit said that the App Store is excellent at limiting the permissions required by apps when used, while the Google Play Store still has the potential to not inform users about the various permissions required.
For any party interested in registering their app on the Google Play Store, this cannot be realized without paying a registration fee. The Google Play Store registration system is a one-time payment and is not a subscription system. According to IdCloudHost, app developers need 25 dollars to make their app available to Android users. This fee is considered quite cheap, assuming the huge amount of potential profit that comes thanks to the billions of active Google Play Store users in this world.
Even though uploading a work to the Google Play Store requires a fee, that does not mean that all the apps that exist there, are useful apps. Not infrequently, there are many developers who are willing to pay a fee of 25 dollars just so that their insignificant app can be made available in the Google Play Store window.
Actually, it was an intelligent decision if only they took the time to put ads on their trivial app. Thus, they will efficiently be able to get maximum profit and save up to tens of percent of money compared to making a conventional app, as a result of the cost of making a trivial app that is so cheap or does not even cost the slightest. Even so, not all developers have the opportunity to install ad packages in their trivial apps.
A Little List of The Apps
According to today’s topic of reviewing several useless apps on the Google Play Store, here is a list of some useless apps that anyone on the Google Play Store can freely access.
Useless App & UsefulApp
By using the keyword “useless app”, the app that appears at the top of the ranking form display is an app called Useless App. This 2.7-megabyte app was released on July 23, 2019, by a developer calling itself UselessProgrammer.
Well, all the apps made by this developer really come in a useless form, according to the developer’s name and the slogan, “it’s all useless here.” UselessProgrammer has so far released four apps including the Useless App, which all have an average size of 2.9 megabytes.
UselessApp3, Simple Button, and UsefulApp are apps other than Useless App owned by UselessProgrammer. Take it easy, the basic of the UsefulApp does not live up to its name. It is just a dialog-shaped app inviting users to chat with limited context choices. Even then, every context that has been discussed cannot be re-chosen. “This app is very useful. This app can do anything. This app is the future,” joked UselessProgrammer through the app’s description column.
When using UsefulApp, UselessProgrammer will later inform you that the UsefulApp has another name, UselessApp 2. Then after that, UsefulApp alias UselessApp 2 says a parting sentence that makes the user unable to do anything more with this app.
Honestly, UsefulApp inserts funny jokes that can be enjoyed properly. One of the most interesting jokes arrive when it came out that UsefulApp has another name. At that moment, UselessProgrammer admitted that UsefulApp is actually the older sibling of Useless App.
Meanwhile, the Useless App. This one is described as a useless app through the description column. At the end of the description column, UselessProgrammer does a small promotion by asking users to enjoy the sequels of Useless App, namely UsefulApp and UselessApp3.
Both are based on dialog apps, what differentiates Useless App from UsefulApp is the dialogue system which is made in one direction. Useless App does not have a feature that allows users to reply to words spoken by the Useless App program.
As usual, the sentences uttered by Useless App are enough to make its users laugh or at least smile happily. Some sentences are wanting that the Useless App to no longer be touched before in the end, the app no longer generates interaction. “The end,” was the last sentence the app said, which was last updated in 2020.
Even though it is useless, Useless App has now successfully earned more than five thousand downloads with an average review value of 4.2 stars from 163 shared reviews. The review value indirectly conveys that the downloaders are quite satisfied with the Useless App. Meanwhile, sadly, UsefulApp did not gain the same fate as its younger sibling. UsefulApp is currently only successful in achieving more than a thousand downloads with no record of any review.
Useless Websites
Useless Websites is an app developed and released on August 26, 2021, by okdev, a developer that basically only releases one app and that is Useless Websites. This fact makes okdev a ‘lazy’ developer when compared to UselessProgrammer, which has successfully released four apps.
Even so, okdev is still better than UselessProgrammer in terms of app updates. Useless Websites maintained by okdev received an update in March 2022, with details of adding new sites and sounds. Meanwhile, as is well known, none of the apps belonging to UselessProgrammer have received updates for at least 2022. Updates run by UselessProgrammer are also not as comparable to okdev effort. “I have an announcement to make,” wrote UselessProgrammer explaining the 2.05 update for the Useless App.
On the description page, okdev explains that Useless Websites is an app that, if used, will take its users to go to interesting sites though they are not utile.
When opening this app, users will be presented with the appearance of a robot character who is resting and a sentence that has a purple area that can be touched. By touching the purple area, the Useless Websites app system will immediately move by taking users to random sites that are strange and ambiguous, exactly according to what okdev explained in the description column.
Links from visited sites will be automatically saved on the user’s device. Users can access the site again by opening the clipboard information on their respective devices so they do not have to bother loading the Useless Websites app.
One of the interesting things in the Useless Websites app is the unique robot character. Apparently, if the robot is touched, it will make the app present a small random text that seems to represent the thoughts of the robot. The appearance of the random text in question will always be accompanied by a deep voice like being tired. “It’s sooo bored” and “what is your name?” are two of the many texts that can appear.
If users have pressed too much on the robot character, then the app will deliberately inform them that the robot has been damaged. This information appears chaperoned by the sound of a machine experiencing a technical error, similar to the sound of a robot being damaged. If this is the case, then users will no longer be able to find out the thoughts of the little robot except by reloading the app.
As of this written, this 2.91-megabyte app, which at first glance is made more intentional than the app published by UselessProgrammer, can only achieve a total of more than a thousand downloads. Unfortunately, the data shows that not a single Google Play Store user has reviewed the only app released by Okdev.
Useless
With a size of only 1.42 megabytes, Useless with the trash can logo is an app developed and released in 2012 by SkyGames Studio. The long release time has made Useless one of the oldest in the useless app category.
SkyGames Studio itself is basically a developer who can be sure has more effort into making an app. This can be proven by three other apps that are made quite competently, although one of them has the same concept as the Useless app.
Besides that, SkyGames Studio also places a complete description in the contact column. SkyGames Studio provides a professional contact email address along with a head office address, a privacy policy, and even a freely accessible website. But unfortunately, the website is currently under construction.
With a complete description, it makes SkyGames Studio look more experienced than the other app developers explained earlier, who usually only provide an email address. What is more, SkyGames Studio’s email address is the paid version of the address (contact@jonathanzimmermann.com), in contrast to its competitors, fellow useless app developers, who only use the free version (for example, xxx@gmail.com).
In the app’s description section, SkyGames Studio goes into detail though the topic is about uselessly. The detailed explanation is along with funny jokes that can make users continue reading the description of the app so that the long explanation from SkyGames Studio does not only become a ‘display’. “Dozens of researchers from all over the world tried to find a use for this application, but all the experiments so far have ended in failure,” joked SkyGames Studio ending the first paragraph of the description.
What makes the Useless app unique are the columns that are commonly used to showcase the contents of an app. In that column, SkyGames Studio includes three pieces of content, of which two are black question mark images. However, the content that is in the very first row of the column is a video with a cover image that is quite eye-catching even though it is made soberly.
Upon further ‘examination’, the video with the thumbnail saying “Useless, just because” turned out to be just a nearly 10-minute black background video with two sentences in the middle. Broadly speaking, the sentences exist to explain that the video is a useless video used as a trailer for the Useless app.
Before going further into the deeper text, it should be understood that the Useless app received the last update on September 21, 2018. SkyGames Studio notes that the update intends to make minor useless changes in useless features to make them more or less, less useful. “Useful or not, that is the question.”
When you open this one app, you can be sure that Useless is much more useless than Useless Websites, Useless App, or UsefulApp. As soon as it loads, users are immediately confronted with a seven-paragraph long text, with the essence of the text being the uselessness of the Useless app. As usual, there are inserts of humor that can at least make people who download Useless a little entertained.
The last paragraph is a paragraph that is devoted to explaining that the Useless app is in fact a ‘little’ useful but only for the app developer itself. SkyGames Studio admits that the benefit that comes from its useless app arrives from the small ad banner at the bottom of the app.
In terms of the number of downloads, Useless far outperforms its competitors. There are approximately 100 thousand total downloads, which are definitely generated from tens of thousands or more devices from tens of thousands of people who want to fill their free time. Thanks to its uselessness, Useless has successfully garnered more than 10 thousand total reviews with a surprising average review rating of 4.8 stars. One of the reviews came from Hani Herlina in 2020, “It really helps me when I’m bored. It’s a trash app, but how come I downloaded it? 😂” she said.
Useless Button
Useless Button is a 3.6-megabyte app that was worked on and released on March 9, 2019. Riccardo Camattari, the developer headquartered in Italy, seems to have made this one app when he was bored because actually, Camattari has released some other apps which are quite useful, one of which is an app for finding mathematical formulas.
The Useless Button description field is filled with sentences explaining that the context of this app is exactly what its name implies, a virtual button that will do nothing except make a clicking sound when touched. Camattari explained further that there is a click counter feature that will show how many times users have pressed the button on the Useless Button. Before closing the first paragraph, Camattari explained that if users touch the button too quickly, the total number of touches will turn red together with the users’ phones starting to vibrate.
Apart from these features, there is also an option to change the background when using the Useless Button. This option is explained by Camattari in the second paragraph, detailing that the background can be replaced with a white background, black background, metal images, circuit board images, electronic circuit diagrams, or use images on users’ personal devices.
Useless Button is currently at version 1.22 after experiencing updates that last happened on December 25, 2021, with the note that the update, which was produced by the developer who owns a website called CAMASAPP, crafts a new feature in the form of vibration control.
When opening the app, users are immediately presented with a large red button with the letter “U” in the middle which represents the word “useless”. In the upper left corner, there is a status that shows the total number of touches that have been made by the user, while in the upper right corner is the location for accessing app settings. At the very bottom, there is a small ad that is not annoying at all.
As previously explained, users can freely press the existing button while the system will record every touch that the user gives. These activities can be carried out even until doomsday arrives, or according to the hopes of the user. Then if users touch too quickly, referencing what Camattari said, the total touch count record will change its color to red escorted by one small change and an animation that is also red will appear.
On the settings page, there are several basic features that were not explained by Camattari in the app description column. The Useless Button, in fact, allows users to remove and reset the total touch state as well as mute the clicking sound that occurs when a touch has been applied.
As a useless app that is created quite seriously (as opposed to its competitors who focus too on the context of uselessness) though its design has fallen behind the times, Useless Button unfortunately only managed to get over 10 thousand total downloads with no users at all who left a review.
Useless App
Unlike the Useless App developed by UselessProgrammer and previously described, this Useless App app is the result of the hands of a developer named t.vasko. Which, t.vasko as a developer unfortunately only places a free email address provided by Google Mail, in the developer’s contact field.
Although only ‘serving’ an email address as the only connection that can be contacted, t.vasko has proven himself to be a ‘considerable expert’ in making apps for the Android OS. This statement can be found by the fact that t.vasko has built and released three other apps besides Useless App. The three apps are an app for exploring various coffee recipes, an app that provides data on taxi companies in North Macedonia, and an app for playing tic-tac-toe (a world-famous game involving two teams or two people).
On the description page, t.vasko, which categorizes the Useless App as an entertainment app, explains briefly that Useless App is an app that will never do anything and will only waste the time of those who use it.
Since its release in early 2018, until now t.vasko has yet to run an update for the only useless app made by it. So, automatically the app measuring almost 5.5 megabytes is now still at version 1.0.
When opening the Useless App, t.vasko immediately presents users with an image of a wooden plank as the background. Meanwhile, at the same time, there is also a human fingerprint symbol that will continue to move randomly in any direction. At the very bottom of the user-visible area, there is a small status that displays a zero.
It can be seen that t.vasko indirectly challenges users to be able to press the existing fingerprint symbol accurately and then the small status at the bottom will instantly calculate every accurate touch that happens. The concept of this app is more or less the same as the Useless Button.
There is nothing users can do other than touch the fingerprint symbol before it switches places. Currently, the Useless App developed by t.vasko has managed to get more than a thousand downloads, but without any slightest review.
The Useless App Market
The Useless App Market is a 1.6-megabyte app that was released on December 25, 2015. The app, developed by someone named WALMIN, was last updated to version 1.2 in 2020 which made it experience several additions and feature changes.
Version 1.2 update brings The Useless App Market to added dark mode, added apps, removed obsolete apps, moved to AndroidX (enhanced version), TargetSdkVersion changed to 30, removed location request permission, and one change that WALMIN considers it as a ‘little change here and there’.
What is quite interesting about the update of 1.2 of The Useless App Market is the removal of location access request permissions. This choice is very wise because The Useless App Market really should not require access to the users’ location which can cause users’ location to be known 24 hours a day.
WALMIN itself, which is headquartered in Sweden, seems to be the same as SkyGames Studio, Riccardo Camattari, and t.vasko because of the attitude of the four of them, that they make useless apps for fun, besides the fact that they have made useful apps. Until now, WALMIN is known to have created and published 13 purely useful apps. One of which is the Dreamly app which can be used to record and review dreams that someone has had.
Back to The Useless App Market. For this app, WALMIN, like developers in general, explains through the description page that The Useless App Market is an app created to take its users to other non-essential apps. WALMIN explained that The Useless App Market was inspired by The Useless Web, a website whose concept was copied by The Useless App Market.
When opening The Useless App Market, the first thing that arises is a form to answer whether the user agrees or disagrees with the privacy regulation system used by The Useless App Market. Users can freely answer disagreeing regarding the system because there will not be any features in The Useless App Market that will be deleted if the answer is to disagree.
After answering according to their belief, users are then faced with a big sentence that says, “Take me to a useless app.” The word “app” wrapped in a green bar can, in reality, be touched and The Useless App Market will automatically directly do its job, taking users to go to other useless apps. Here, the first attempt made me go to the download page for the Useless App by t.vasko which I had previously explained.
At the very bottom, there is a green symbol that is animated like a beating heart. If touched, the app displays several things, namely a sentence about The Useless Web as the inspiration, the current version status of the app, a list of other WALMIN apps, about ads enabled, privacy rules, and an option to review the app and submit other useless apps for later added into The Useless App Market database.
Just like any other less popular app, The Useless App Market only managed to get a total of more than a thousand downloads with no record of reviews shared by users who have tried the app.
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Bibliography
- Jatimtech — “Apa Itu Google Play Store? Pengertian, Jenis Layanan, Cara Membuka”
- Wikipedia — “Google”
- Wikipedia — “App Store (iOS)”
- IdCloudHost — “Cara Submit / Mendaftarkan Aplikasi Android di Google Play Store untuk Pemula”
- BR Atsit — “5 Alasan Mengapa App Store Lebih Baik Dari Google Play”
- Wikipedia — “Silang-bulat-silang”
- Android — “Ringkasan AndroidX”
- Wikipedia — “Google Play”
