Not Everyone Likes You and Why That’s Okay

By Adam Coughlin, Managing Partner at York IE

As a lover of language, I was delighted this past weekend when I finally got a chance to see “Hamilton.” Lin-Manuel Miranda’s musical was a masterpiece in storytelling that gave an inside look into the life of one of America’s founding fathers, Alexander Hamilton.

As much as I love language, I also love history. There is so much for us to learn. In our hyper-connected digital age, it is easy to reflect nostalgically on the past as “simpler times.” But watching Hamilton reminded me that even without Twitter and 24-hour cable news, these founding fathers had stressful lives.

One of the most imaginative scenes in “Hamilton” is when we get a sneak peek inside one of George Washington’s cabinet meetings. It becomes a rap battle between Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton. And while that probably didn’t happen back in the day, the political rivalry between the two men was real. So too, obviously was the rivalry between Hamilton and Burr — so much so that Burr kills Hamilton in a duel (now that’s a rivalry). There was also a feud between Jefferson and John Adams. And Hamilton and James Madison. And so on and so forth.

These men were forging a path for a new country. In doing so they were passionate and arrogant, brilliant and angry. It is hard sometimes to separate the giant from the jerk. Yet, despite the personal toll, they believed, without a shadow of a doubt, that their cause was just and the work was worth it.

If you’re building a startup then you too are starting something from scratch. And while it is most likely not a new country that will become a City Upon a Hill for people around the world, it is still hard to get off the ground. Along the way, you’re going to anger some people (most likely your competitors). And, even though you don’t want to, you will disappoint some customers.

For a first-time founder, all of this may be new. While it isn’t easy, it is part of the process. You have to be OK with it or else it will drive you crazy. As they say, “you can’t make an omelet without cracking a few eggs.” Kyle often asks a startup one question: who is your enemy? And by that, he means who are you going after? Who is your entire team rallying behind to defeat?

This point was reinforced earlier this week while I was watching “The Crown.” There is a great scene where Margaret Thatcher tells the Queen that she is very comfortable having enemies. To emphasize her point, she recites the poem, “No Enemies” by Scottish poet Charles Mackay:

YOU have no enemies, you say?

Alas! my friend, the boast is poor;

He who has mingled in the fray

Of duty, that the brave endure,

Must have made foes! If you have none,

Small is the work that you have done.

You’ve hit no traitor on the hip,

You’ve dashed no cup from perjured lip,

You’ve never turned the wrong to right,

You’ve been a coward in the fight.

Hamilton wasn’t afraid to crack some eggs. You shouldn’t be either. Thatcher was OK with having enemies for the right reasons. You should be OK with it too.

Just know if someone challenges you to a duel, you may have gone too far.