You Need the Most Help, When You Least Want It

By Adam Coughlin, Managing Partner at York IE

My wife and I were sweating. For the past 10 minutes we had been trying to bring a metal clothing rack downstairs into the basement. The way the ceiling sloped, however, made this task virtually impossible.

So we retreated to the kitchen. We decided we needed to take the rack apart. To do that we had to unscrew the top portion of it — a portion that was attached before my wife had painted the rack. It was now stuck. I twisted to the left (lefty loosey). No luck. I twisted to the right (maybe it is righty not tighty). No luck. I twisted until the veins in my forearms threatened to burst. No luck. Now I was getting angry.

The entire time, my seven-year-old son was hovering. He wanted to help. Anyone who has children knows that “help” often leads to twice as much work for mom and dad. I was in no mood for his help. I kept shooing him away.

I decided we needed to trample through the backyard, still covered from the first snowfall of the season, and bring the rack down through the bulkhead. My wife objected on the solid ground that it was an insane idea. I was about to start saying regrettable things like why do we need the rack at all? Why do you have so many jackets?

And then my son, motioning with his hands, said, “well, you’ve been trying to carry it down this way, why wouldn’t you just turn it this way instead.”

So simple. So right.

The solution was right there in front of me the entire time but I just couldn’t see it. Yet someone else with a fresh perspective looked at the problem — a problem that was beginning to blind me with frustration — and easily saw the solution.

And I tried to shoo him away.

This was a great lesson for me. It is often the moments that we need help the most that we are least open to receiving it. Instead, by realizing that everyone — no matter how small! — has a unique perspective, you can solve problems you might not otherwise be able to yourself.

We easily moved the rack to the basement. We were then able to remove our spring and summer jackets from our main closet making more room for our winter gear. The flow and comfort of the house has greatly improved. This wouldn’t have happened if my son hadn’t spoken up and shared his insights. I only wish he had done this before I spent all that time twisting (Adam writes, as he rubs his sore forearms)!