Dani Shapiro — The Creative Process of Life
In every creative endeavor there’s a moment where we question whether we’re fit to do the work. We question our abilities, our credentials, everything, except that voice in your head that says your not good enough. Every time I try to do something creative I get in a fight with…Nancy.
Nancy is my alter ego. She’s honestly a buzz kill, pessimistic, and pain in the ass. She likes to come in and tear me down. She says my ideas are stupid and rubs it in when I screw up.
So as a write these words, this is what’s going on in my head…
(Channeling my inner boxing match announcer…)
It’s a classic folks: Nancy vs. Edna. In the blue corner is Nancy 5’4, weighing 145 pounds, from Las Vegas Nevada… Please welcome! Neeeggaaative Nancy!!! She’s surely the crowd favorite. Her amount of wins are unmatched.
And in the red corner you have Edna 5’4, weighing a rather pathetic amount of weight, from Las Vegas, Nevada…Please welcome (and pray for) ….Ennthusiastic Edna!!!! Her amount of wins are soo small it’s hard to remember, she’ll no doubt be chewed up and spit out in the match ladies and gentlemen.
Bing bing…the match just started.
Edna’s starting off strong. She’s unleashing serious amount of firepower. She starts off with a “hell yes! I can do this ’jab, then another one, and another one and for a moment she disorients Nancy. But Nancy is more experienced, she knows how to stand her ground, and save her energy for later when it really counts.
Half way through the match. Edna has successfully kept Nancy at bay, but her energy is waning considerably. She doesn’t think she can keep it up much longer.
Nancy knows this and decides it’s time to strike. She hits Edna with a “who do you think you are?” jab, then another, and (with rather impressed power) she hits Edna with a “You’re just not good enough” right hook that knocks her to the floor.
Ok, now’s the moment of truth. Will Edna keep going and resist her opponent?
Edna’s vision is blurred, she’s disoriented and in pain. She doesn’t know if getting up is the best idea. Perhaps Nancy deserves to win, she’d given it her all and still got knocked out, maybe she should quit…
As I’m writing these words, I’m questioning whether I should continue or just call it quits. What if this opening story is too cheesy? What if I give it my all and still come up with something mediocre?
Despite this questions, I managed to finished the article. I got up for another round. And that was largely due to the book, “Still Writing: The Perils and Pleasures of a Creative Life” by Dani Shapiro, which inspired me to keep going.
This book is part memoir and part guide for creative souls. Shapiro writes candidly about experiences as a writer, the creative process, and what it means to live a life around your creative endeavors.
We often romanticize artists and writers. They’re deep, contemplative, and oddly mysterious. And if they reach a certain level of success we try to find out what’s “the secret” to their genius.
But this book does away with that bullshit and really highlights what it means to struggle to pursue your dreams. So let’s dive right in.
THE CREATIVE PROCESS & MINDSET
You might have a similar reaction to me about this section. You’re like “creative process”, I don’t think that pertains to me because I’m not ”a creative”. I’m not writer, or an artist of any sort.
But then I started to think what it really means to “be a creative” and it doesn’t really mean much but the simple act engaging in creation. You don’t need to be a type of person, because everyone creates. We can create our lives, day by day, we create a body of work, and how we approach our creation is important to our lives.
Let go of Romanticism and “finding your passion”
Whenever we think of “a creative” we believe their craft and life to be romantic. There’s an expectation that their creativity springs organically from their passion for the craft, their long walks of in deep contemplation and their dedication to their craft.
For Shapiro, that’s partially true. To pursue any type of creation will require dedication but it doesn’t spring willy nilly. Any profession and life venture requires grit, routine, and well formed habits to excel. Passion follows from those long hours performing and pushing yourself even when you’re frustrated.
“If I waited to be in the mood to write, I’d barely have a chapter book of material to my name. Who would ever be in the mood to write? Do marathon runners get in the mood to run? Do teachers wake up with the urge to lecture? I don’t know, but I doubt it. My guess is that it’s the very act that is generative. The doing of the thing that makes possible the desire for it. {…} Think of a ballet dancer at the barre. {…} She is practicing because she knows there is no difference between practice and art. The practice is art” (Shapiro 50–51).
As we move through life, we’re engaging in the creative process, whether we like it or not, we’re writing our own reality. Each day is a practice, where we learn new things and change course when needed.
There’s a huge mental shift here. Instead of looking at life romanticizing the future we need to live for the present. We should focus on our daily practice, focus on the blood, sweat, and tears that will get us closer to where we want to be, not getting lost in unrealistic expectations.
THE INNER CRITIC & MINDSET
Let’s return to that boxing match. Edna is on the floor. Hurting. Confused. She’s debating whether she’ll forge through the pain and continue to fight. This could be you. You could be struggling to gain control. You could be deciding whether to follow your interests or let Negative Nancy win this round.
Letting go of our opinions
This is a very strange idea. In order to keep yourself from indulging your inner critic, simply declare yourself incompetent. Decide you aren’t fit to judge yourself on any matter, your looks, your worth, or the value of your work, you’re just too bias.
I found this idea very intriguing from Shapiro, and oddly liberating, because I realized it’s very true. We’re can’t judge ourselves because we sometimes can’t see past our imperfections and believe them to be the full picture of ourselves. We become incapable of seeing ourselves fully and honestly. Realizing this, we can let go our need to judge ourselves, and simply be with ourselves. Shapiro puts it more eloquently:
“How I feel about my own work is none of my business. “We cannot achieve greatness unless we lose all interests in being great”, wrote Thomas Merton. Satisfaction should not be –cannot be –the goal. There is tremendous creative freedom to be found in letting our opinions of our work, in considering the possibility that we may not be not our own best critic. […] My job is to do, not to judge. It is a great piece of luck, a privilege, to spend each day leaping, stumbling, leaping again. As is true of so much of life, it isn’t what I thought it would be when I was first starting out. The price is high: the tension, isolation, the lack of certitude can sometimes wear me down. But then there is the aliveness. The queer, divine dissatisfaction. The blessed unrest.” (Shapiro 118–1119).
There are so many nuggets of wisdom in Shapiro’s book just like this that make it a pleasure to read. Keeping that in mind, let’s go back to the ring, shall we?
Edna’s on the floor contemplating where to just call it quits. She hears the countdown begin “1… 2… 3…” She hears Shapiro yelling from her side of the ring, “Your job is to do, not to judge.” She remembers to cancel all judgment of her performance and keep going. She gets up for another round.
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