Choosing Chastity: A Look at Cages, Belts, and the Kinky Fun of Locking Things Up “Down There”
There can be unexpected pleasures in giving someone else control of your sexuality. Here are a few tips on exploring consensual chastity play.
At first glance, the idea of making a fetish out of chastity seems counterintuitive to a lot of people. Locking your junk away so that you can’t touch it — never mind use it for sex — directly contradicts the popular notion not only of what kink is, but what counts as sex. If you go by what pop culture tells us, getting kinky means that you’re going to be hanging out with uninhibited libertines and having more and better orgasms, not less.
But paradoxes like this embody exactly what is so beautifully tantalizing about kink. For those who are into it, the sensation of surrendering control of their sexuality to another — voluntarily withstanding frustration and denial of sexual pleasure — is the path to an even richer sense of sexual satisfaction. If it’s not your thing, you might not get it, but that’s the great thing about kink: It completely discards the idea that sex is a one-size-fits-all thing and encourages you to find what turns you on and go for it.
But if chastity is your thing — or you’re interested in seeing if it is — how do you get started? Keep reading for a few tips on how to look through the many devices available to find the one that fits your lifestyle, your body, and your desire.
History vs. Mythology
Of course, chastity has a long history behind it that ranges from vows taken for religious or spiritual reasons to forced repression. When the topic comes up, most people instantly think of the medieval tradition of the chastity belt, supposedly used by husbands to insure their wives’ fidelity while they were on long trips. Everybody knows about chastity belts, but there’s only one problem: They were never a real thing. Over the years, the idea was invented for bawdy tales and satire. The few that exist in collections, such as this one owned by the British Museum, are generally acknowledged to be fakes.
But never let history (or the lack of it) get in the way of a hot scene. Nowadays, you can find plenty of chastity belts designed for consensual play. They’re usually made of leather instead of the vicious-looking metal underwear of legend.
However, even though everyone knows about chastity belts, when you’re shopping in the modern kink market for consensual play, there are a lot more devices made for dicks than for pussies. We’re going to be dealing almost entirely with the former in this piece, just because there’s so many different kinds available.
The First Steps to Chastity
The key to finding the right device is to consider two main factors: your lifestyle and your anatomy. There tends to be an adjustment phase when one decides to start experimenting with chastity. Allow yourself time to figure out how far you want to go. Decide what works for you, and what doesn’t. If you have a partner, find out what they want from chastity.
There may be an awkward period where your body has to adjust to your new device. If you can get through this phase, the rewards of chastity will become clear: peace of mind, a deeper bond with yourself and partners and a greater focus on the overall quality of life.
Usually, you’re not going to wind up with the first device you try, so we suggest starting out with a mid-ranged priced. Many people select the incorrect device first. This can be a costly habit, so we suggest starting out with a mid-range priced item first. It will help you decide whether you enjoy wearing a chastity device, and what your correct size is. When wearing a device, the focus should be on what you want from chastity. If the device is distracting or painful to wear, it will detract from the overall experience.
Caging Your Cock for Fun and Pleasure
If you’ve got a dick, you’re going to find that there’s a lot more variety in materials and designs of chastity devices than if you’re shopping for a pussy. While chastity belts for vulvas are almost always leather, cock cages and belts commonly come in materials materials such as leather, plastic, metal, and silicone.
When considering a device, take into account any possible allergies to the materials you may have. Some people are allergic to plastic or metal (nickel allergies are quite common),which would exclude a good number of the cages out there. Trying an inexpensive device such as a Gates of Hell or a silicone masturbation sleeve such as the Vibratex suction sleeve can help give you a fair idea of what size and materials feel most comfortable.
Besides the aforementioned measurements, take into account the length of your shaft when flaccid and when erect. You want to make sure the device you choose has a cage that will accommodate a semi-erect penis. You will continue to get erect when in your device, so you will need to allow some room. The device is only meant to keep you from getting fully erect and/or orgasming. Consider your skin thickness. If you have thin skin, the seams or edges of the metal may irritate it. It may also stick to the plastic or silicone, especially if you frequently sweat.
The Challenges of Long-Term Chastity
Wearing a cage for longer than a single session entails some unique challenges (and opportunities) that don’t come up during most scenes. In that case, it’s not enough for the device to simply be comfortable when you put it on; you’re going to want it to stay reasonably comfortable for days or weeks at a time in situations that range from sleeping to moving around an office.
For those who have prostate issues, long-term chastity devices are almost certainly out of the question; many devices fasten around the base of the penis and are going to press on an inflamed prostate. Going for long periods without ejaculation can cause prostate enlargement and other problems, especially for those past 35 or 40, so many people include prostate milking (stimulation of the prostate through the anus) as part of their chastity routine.
For daily wear, plastic or silicone cages are good choices; they’re discreet, easy to clean, and usually don’t have any sharp edges that are going to pinch or cut you. For plastic, the CB-X000 line of cages is a good place to start looking; all of the models make a reasonably-priced, durable choice. Made of polycarbonate, this series has an interchangeable ring system that makes them suitable for different sizes.
The CB-3000 is the original; having a larger inner diameter, it fits thicker, shorter shafts better. The shortness makes it difficult to clean and can be painful even without an erection. Its successor is the CB-6000, which has all the same qualities of the 3000 but a tighter fit. Next in the line, The Curve is designed to fit longer men. It adds a longer cage.
The Bon-4 or Birdlocked cages are highly-regarded models made from medical-grade silicone if you prefer that route. For some, the silicone may be more comfortable and less irritating than the polycarbonate or metal options. The Bon4 comes with two metal padlocks and five plastic, numbered tags for an extra touch of security, especially if the wearer is travelling away from the keyholder for a period of time. The Birdlocked cage is well-ventilated with seven holes that make it suitable to wear for extended periods.
Metal devices, such as the Houdini, look sexy as hell and work quite well for actual masturbation control. However, they can be expensive, difficult to remove and rigid, making it hard to be discreet.
Taking Care of Your Body During Chastity
Individual anatomy plays a big part in how a device fits and how it will wear over time. If you’re a grower, wearing a device may cause the cock to stay distended rather than retracting. As well, scrotum skin will adjust to being in the device constantly. While this will not have adverse effects healthwise, it will change the fit of your device. This usually occurs about 4–6 months after continual wear. These alterations may require a device or ring change to allow the body to return to normal. If your ring starts to slide or slip while wearing the device or if the device falls off , you may need to change to a different size ring. If you’re uncircumcised, you may have to choose a device that allows a bit more wiggle room. The enclosed shaft cages might be more uncomfortable to wear with the extra skin, and make things more difficult to clean.
For longer wear, a shaved pubic area is best. Hair will get caught in the hinges and twisted between the ring and cage. It will also chafe if you wear the device daily for extended periods. While shaving the area is preferred, there is one major side effect here also: ingrown hair. This becomes more frequent after freshly shaving and immediately replacing the device. After shaving, it is best to allow some time before putting the device on again. Let the skin return to normal first. Consider using a gel or lotion designed specifically for the prevention of ingrown hairs. Moisturize daily, especially under the rings. Pick an unscented lotion that does not contain oil. Cocoa butter, aloe, or shea butter is better.
Every four or five days, remove the device for cleaning. Mold and gunk may build up inside the cage. Regular cleaning will prolong the life of the device and reduce unpleasant odors. This is particularly true with plastic devices. Cotton swabs will work for quick cleanups between full removals of the device.
When sitting for longer periods — for instance, when you’re at your desk for an eight-hour workday — get up and walk around every few hours. This can help the device re-situate itself to an even level. Prolonged sitting will pull the device down and back, placing pressure under the scrotum and on the top of the shaft, potentially causing sores and abrasions. Looser fitting clothes, such as boxers, will allow the device to rest more comfortably, causing less irritation. If discretion is a concern, consider wearing one of the following: girdles, ladies’ panties, pantyhose or male biker shorts. These all hold the penis closer to the body and provide a smoother look under clothing.
There is so much to say about chastity play; about the devices, about possible protocols, about the challenges and pleasures that can come with it. This piece only touches lightly on a few of the primary points. Let us know about your own experiences and questions.
