Talking Sex: Midori On the Power of Words in Erotic Play
Summer is drawing to a close and that means that it’s almost time for school to be back in session. What better way to close out the dog days than to bring internationally-acclaimed educator Midori back to Stockroom University to close out the dog days with a pair of workshops on how to how to bring your scenes alive with your mind and voice. In “How to Create Amazing Scenes,” she’ll give students the tools to take things a little bit deeper than usual — underneath the skin and straight into your partners’ mind. Her second workshop, “Aural Sex,” features a much-neglected and underrated tool for erotic play: your voice. We spoke to her a little about what’s coming up in her classes and the potential for mind-blowing pleasure with these techniques.
What are the most common mistakes made during play?
Most people don’t consider the specifics of the kind of mood they want to experience in play. Do you want to feel powerful? Vulnerable? Silly, tender, imperious, vicious, wicked, unfair, nurturing, and so on.
We don’t articulate this to ourselves, much less communicate this to the other person, and certainly we often fail to ask what our partners want to experience in their emotional journey. Yes, we talk about what tools and skills to use during the scene, but we rarely discuss to what emotional end… We imply this but don’t spell it out. If we know the emotional state we want to go to, we can keep that as a central theme and shift activities within that scope while keeping the flow.
Are there things that are easily overlooked by the Top?
Many people who top overlook the necessity for their own aftercare. If they dive in and really give it their all, and fully enjoy themselves, it’s quite natural to have an energy or emotional dip after play. Sometimes it can feel like full-blown blues. If you’re topping, make sure to plan and explain what you need to regain full balance. It will make the joy of the scene last longer!
Are there alternatives to filling out BDSM checklists?
Those checklists are so boring! Having a conversation about pleasures and fantasies is so much sexier and much more effective to figure out what fun to have.
Having a structure for such a conversation is really helpful. With a little bit of practice, most any one can lead a super steamy pre-play conversation with the objective of finding out what to do, all the while both of you getting into the mood of play.
Aural expression can be the perfect foreplay or the wrong turn in a scene. How can we read our partners so we say the right things to turn them on and keep them engaged?
Pay attention to their body language. If they start to pull away or look uncomfortable, don’t continue that line of topic or plot. Just laugh it off what you were saying and change to a different topic or plot.
Why do so many people shy away from verbal play?
Many mistake sexy talk for just stringing together dirty words. That can feel dumb to many. Others get stuck on feeling like they need to have a great plot and be a fantastic playwright.
Using your voice for seduction is none of these. It’s about creating sensations and playing with the senses using words. Linger on the descriptions and slow down your speech. That alone will hugely improve your sexy talk.
How best can someone “practice” Aural skills in private?
Try reading stories out loud. Remember to slow it down. Try “talking with your hands” or visually illustrate while speaking. Phone sex without video maybe helpful too. It’ll make you focus on the effect your voice has on your partner.
Can partners create a “Hard Limits List” for Aural Sex?
Absolutely! Often there are sex words, parts names or people terms that a person is really turned off by. You can ask about “What are your turn-off words?” There may also be topics that just turn you off or feel too silly. It’s okay to list these as no-go limit zones.
Classes on Saturday, August 24
The Stockroom
2121 W. Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles, CA
How to Create Amazing Scenes: Get in Their Heads
12- 2pm
$30.00
Aural Sex
3:30- 6
$30.00
