10 quotes on Stoicism that changed my perspective on life
The ancient philosophy is filled with wisdom that resonates even in today’s hectic world
10. Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be One. — Marcus Aurelius
Everyone likes to think of themselves as a “good person,” but obviously people have any number of differing opinions as to what constitutes “good.”
Here’s the thing though, it doesn’t really matter.
We concern ourselves with what others think and define ourselves by those standards rather than listening to our own inner voice and values.
I know what my values are. Chances are, you do as well. Live by those and leave opinions of “good” to others.
9. How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself? — Epictetus
Growing up, I always believed I had the potential to do something great. What that was, I wasn’t sure, but I believed it wholeheartedly. For a long time, I allowed that belief to act as a double-edged sword, however. I needed to find my purpose and apply myself, but I didn’t know in what way exactly. As days stretched into weeks and months became years, debilitating anxiety took root and left me all but paralyzed to even begin.
Even once I did discover my path, I found it impossible most days to progress or work toward it. I was embarrassed at how raw — and frankly bad — my work was, whether it was writing or podcasting or anything else I took an interest in. I couldn’t push through the malaise but I could dream of the day when I had “made it.”
Problem is, life doesn’t work that way. Even people who are naturally gifted or inclined toward a talent or trade must spend countless hours honing that skill. It doesn’t just build confidence but allows us to grow as individuals.
Who cares if you suck when you start out? If you’re practicing something, be it writing, drawing, singing, whatever, you can do it in the privacy of your own home and refine your skill until you’re ready to step out and get feedback from your peers. And guess what? Even then you’ll need to keep working and refining said skill.
Knowing what I wanted to do and be wasn’t enough. I had to develop an uncompromising, relentless dedication to it. I built my day around six key practices — things that not only progressed me toward my goal but allowed me to fortify my inner citadel so that I would have the necessary trust and belief in myself to keep trudging forward in pursuit of my goals.
I demanded the best of myself, accepting no excuses along the way. Nine months into this change, I’m unquestionably stronger and closer to my goals, but I’m not there yet. Rather than lament this, I trust in the process and myself. Why? Because I put in the work and I’m relentless in my pursuit.
8. Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it. — Epictetus
When I started down the road to self-discovery, I began with meditation, bringing order to my chaotic mind and learning to notice negative thoughts and emotions without identifying with them. From there, I moved to daily journaling and philosophy, eventually arriving at Stoicism.
While it would be easy to say that just writing an article like this essentially defeats the whole “don’t explain” aspect Epictetus spoke of, I do think it’s important to share knowledge that’s proven helpful so that it may potentially help others in turn.
A lot of the stoic principles, I found, were already in line with my own values and virtues, only put into far better words. The words of Marcus Aurelius and Seneca resonated with me, so I dug deeper, buying books and translations on the philosophy and reading all that I could.
I don’t think it transformed my life so much as it fortified the foundation I was already building. Regardless, it’s been a fascinating journey of discovery and wisdom that’s enriched my life in recent months.
7. You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.―Marcus Aurelius
The core of the Serenity Prayer is strong here.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
- Serenity Prayer
While the idea isn’t exactly rocket science, many of us obsess over things beyond our control, getting wrapped up in endless cycles of anger and frustration.
I was as bad as anyone about this destructive pattern. I was pessimistic about everything, always considering a million and one possibilities — none of them good — and insisting the worst instance I could imagine would become reality. It never did, thankfully, but it was an exhausting practice.
Even as recently as the end of last year I clung to feelings of shame and embarrassment from assorted incidents in my past — things only I still thought about and agonized over. What a wretched way to live your life, tormented unnecessarily by your own polluted thought patterns.
I spent years in therapy working to dig my way out of the seemingly bottomless pit of self-loathing and anxiety, and just when I thought I would never be free, I realized something.
I was the thing in my way. Not the obstacles or challenges; not the people or social structures. Me. The problem wasn’t the problem — it was my reaction to the problem.
I faced the world from a constant state of adversity, treating every less than perfect development as a personal slight or cruel turn of fate. When I began to reframe that perspective, my world opened up.
There’s something incredible that happens when you realize you are not your thoughts. It’s empowering. I might not be able to control what life throws my way but I can sure as hell step out of my own way when it comes to dealing with it.
I had to let go of those things beyond my control. The past? I can’t change it, so why wring my hands over it. The future? Who knows what that will hold. All that matters is the present and what I do today.
6. Stop drifting…Sprint to the finish. Write off your hopes, and if your well-being matters to you, be your own savior while you can. — Marcus Aurelius
Part of learning to be prolific and relentless was learning how to keep my foot on the gas. If you want to be a great writer (or a great anything, for that matter), you can’t write just once every few days. You need to come back to it readily day after day. Trust me, the muse will eventually get with the program and the words will begin to flow freely. And if they don’t, well, even a bad day of writing trumps a day in which you wrote nothing.
Over the past year, I’ve become pretty obsessed with the idea of productivity. I set goals for each day as part of my journaling and then report back in the evening to evaluate everything.
If I checked all six of my daily meditations, found some time to be reasonably active, and took care of the business laid out that morning, I consider the day a success. Conversely, if I didn’t accomplish everything, I don’t berate myself. I simply take note and try to approach the following day with renewed vigor.
I can’t wait for the goals I want to achieve or the life I want to magically come into being around me. I have to work at those things, and the more focused and determined I am now, the better I’ll be in the long run.
You want to live your best life? Be your own savior.
5. Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day… The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time. — Marcus Aurelius
Memento Mori: you could leave life right now. We never know how much time we’ll have in this world, even if we prefer not to think about it. But the knowledge of our mortality can be a powerful thing, gifting us with precision focus and deliberate intention we might otherwise lack as we move throughout our day.
I mentioned how I start each morning by outlining the day’s tasks and setting goals for myself. I then, as Aurelius says, balance life’s books by reflecting each evening over those goals and the broader overview of the greater yet goals I’m working toward.
It may sound morbid but if my time comes before I’ve reached my goals, I’d rather have been so close I could touch them rather than spending my final years sulking on the couch with a growing sense of loathing for having never tried at all.
4. The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.―Marcus Aurelius
The stories we tell ourselves matter. When I remained trapped in cycles of destructive thought, agonizing over the same memories, I was poisoning myself little by little. The result was a version of myself I hated. I struggled some days to even look at myself in the mirror. I had to find a way to purify my thoughts so that the well of my mind could run clean once more.
The stories we tell ourselves matter.
After I stepped out of my own way, I stumbled upon meditation. After a couple of weeks of quieting the negative, looping patterns, I began to notice a substantial change. From there, I moved into daily journaling, reading, and writing — things that filled my cup and nurtured my soul. From there, it was a form of physical activity.
It was transformative, and it saved my life. I will never look back.
3. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.―Seneca
I’d heard this quote numerous times in the past, and almost always in a sports context. That doesn’t make it any less powerful or accessible, however.
Rather than awaiting some fairytale development wherein an angel investor pours hundreds of thousands of dollars into my startup idea, it’s best I start working in that direction on my own. After all, you’re better off taking the stairs than waiting for someone to maybe one day install an escalator.
Hone your craft and grow. If your idea has merit in the long run and you’ve prepared vigorously, perhaps someone will see that and believe in you as much as they believe in your idea.
It’s one thing to bet on yourself, it’s another to place your bet blindly and with none of the necessary experience to stand upon.
2. When someone is properly grounded in life, they shouldn’t have to look outside themselves for approval. — Epictetus
Whew. This one really hit home for me. I came to realize through therapy that I’ve always looked beyond myself for approval and validation. Anything I accomplished, I took pride in so long as someone else first expressed pride in said accomplishment or was impressed.
I sought approval from my parents, my friends — pretty much anyone I respected, and at times even those I didn’t care for. If left alone with no one to comment on an accomplishment, it began to feel empty — hollow. I couldn’t hold on to the feeling of pride or appreciation. It was like sand running through my fingers. No matter how tightly I clenched my fist, it escaped my grasp.
Over time, it grew worse. Even when I did receive outside validation, I couldn’t instill that same pride or satisfaction within me. I felt so unworthy and unremarkable that I would recontextualize achievements as having been “not that hard.” Other times, I moved the goalpost altogether until it was no longer obtainable.
Delayed gratification can be great, but if you continually move the goalposts until you can no longer reach them and then turn against yourself as if everything prior didn’t matter then you’ve simply lost the plot as I had.
I had to learn how to develop a good relationship with myself because, frankly, if you don’t practice self-love and self-care, you’re not likely to be a happy person anyway. For years I clung to a fraying thread of love for myself because I believed there was potential within me to achieve my goals and lead a life I could be proud of.
However, it wasn’t until I reeled that thread in and began to nurture and care for myself that my life finally began to change in a positive way.
1. Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible for anyone to accomplish. — Marcus Aurelius
As a writer, journalist, and general content creator, I get a lot of feedback from observers — be they readers, subscribers, listeners, or what have you. For the most part, people can be pretty great, but you do get the occasional toxic personality every now and then.
In the past, it didn’t matter if I received a thousand positive comments. One troll whose input was completely baseless was enough to spoil my mood. It gnawed at me for hours anytime I experienced this.
For a long time, I just stopped reading comments altogether for fear of encountering a handful of negative remarks. Thankfully, I eventually came to realize I couldn’t let these kinds of people control my behavior or how I feel about myself.
Oftentimes, the people who are the most vocal in their criticism are the ones who have never created something of their own, whether due to a lack of self-discipline or audience. Insecure about this, they lash out and try to tear others down instead.
Even as recently as last month one such comment pulled me “offsides.” I called out the ridiculous comment and then quickly reminded myself the reaction is what they were seeking in the first place. I deleted my response and recommitted to my stoic principles.
Just because someone else can’t build something doesn’t mean it can’t be done.
I said at the start of this piece not to worry about what others think or consider “good.” The same is true of unconstructive feedback.
Worry not what artificial limitations others seek to place upon you. What matters is what you work and strive to accomplish. If it happens, fantastic. Revel in your achievement. If not, realize you’ve nonetheless learned a great deal that you otherwise might not have had you not begun in the first place.
Final thoughts
There are countless great stoic quotes and books to read — certainly more than I’ve pulled from here — but these are a few of the quotes that really resonated with me and changed the way I view life. Read excerpts of Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations. Look up the works of Epictetus and Seneca. There’s profound wisdom in their words that is timeless, even if you don’t consider yourself a stoic.
It helped change my life and I’d be willing to bet it could do the same for you.
