Being an Outsider and What the Universe has to say about that!
Since I was a child I have felt like an outsider where-ever I went. I know that has been because of my upbringing in contexts that were so different from the culture I was born in but I thought by now I would have given it up. But it still follows me around at times. It specially comes up when I am attempting something new in my life, and when there is a high degree of uncertainty. It shows up knocking on my psyche as a reaction in my body. Feelings of discomfort and overwhelm, a sense that I do not belong and “really, what the hell do I think I am doing here!?”
While the messages all around on the Internet and whatever you read is that its the New Year and a New You is possible, all those resolutions to make you change some part of you, indicating that those parts of you may be substandard, I felt the weight of it all, and thought it is time to address this Outsider Syndrome and feeling that you don’t belong. I used Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) to address these feelings. I realized it comes from a deeper insecurity of not being good enough because you do not fit the dominant normal image YOU think that one has to fit in for whatever territory you are charting. This is backed by years of growing up in an environment where you do not match the image of the normal.
After I tapped on these feelings, a clarity came over me that in fact you are called up by Source Energy to be where you are precisely because of being the way you are and you owe it to your Source to show up exactly as you are. That you were meant to be different and to be charting new territory because an outsider brings what the group may be missing; that you are meant to make the tapestry colourful. People reading this might be saying of course, but when you are against your own inner critic telling you, you don’t belong, you should stop trying, it’s hard to bring that clarity in that moment. And as if to give me some added boost with this realisation, the universe sent me encouragement, in the way of articles and signs to reinforce this new realisation. You’re meant to stand out it said! So there, inner critic take that and I’ll be on my way!
But seriously I must acknowledge that outsiders play an important role in creating change, whether they are investigative journalists whose being on the outside makes them report the truth or immigrants that bring new ways of living and thinking to new shores, or innovators whose ideas and products and services improve the way we live or artists who relate beauty in new ways of seeing the world. They bring different perspectives and infuse new insight and ways of doing things. It’s not so bad to be an outsider. Maybe I could find my own tribe of outsiders! :)
