Break-ups during Lockdowns
A break-up is difficult, regardless of why it has ended, who ended it and when it ended, it’s still difficult. Period. However, during a time when the world population is diminishing, families are losing loved ones and people are fearing for their lives from an enemy that cannot be seen by the human eye, how do we justify a heartbreak from a break-up?
Well, you start by acknowledging that this is definitely not the best time to have your heart broken, but you’re still a living, breathing human with emotions and just because the world is on shutdown, does not mean your emotions should be on lockdown.
You need to grieve what you have just lost. Understand that a major part of your life has just ended and that it is still okay to be sad. It is not selfish, it is not wrong and neither is it pathetic. Breaking up during a time of lockdown, when there are no bars to drink your grief away, no freedom of movement to have a pity party at your best friends place and no gyms to work away those feelings makes everything feel a thousand times worse than it would have been under different, safer circumstances. It’s now just you, and your thoughts, in a house full of family (maybe). How do you survive?
- Start journaling
A journal really can put things into perspective. It may seem like a tedious task, but the moment you pick up a pen and put it to paper, your words will pour out of you like a waterfall in summer. It’s the safest method to let things out and get rid of the weight that you’re carrying on your shoulders without being judged by everyone around you. It helps put things into perspective and allows you the freedom to acknowledge what went wrong and why.
2. Focused breathing
Yeah, I guess I am starting to sound like a yogi/hippie with my journals and my breathing, but let me tell you, that the emotions that your body stores post-break up affects your physiology. There will be nights when you can’t sleep, can’t eat and you just don’t want to exist. These are the moments when your body is crying out for a little help. Allowing oxygen to voluntarily fill up those lungs that help keep you alive, will help heal your heart. The more oxygen you have in your body, the cleaner and healthier you feel. The more oxygen you have in your body, the stronger your lungs become. The stronger your lungs get, the more cushioning your broken heart has, since your heart basically sits between your two lungs.
3. Yoga
Being a health professional with an extensive understanding of the human anatomy, I often find that yoga guides me to the areas of my body that needs help. Our bodies speak to us and the stress of a break-up remains in our bodies by presenting itself as pain and discomfort. Often times, you will find that your back is tight, or your neck is stiff or your legs are tired, and I personally believe that its the body’s way of telling you that you need to release that which no longer serves you. Breathing and yogic stretching can help connect your body and mind and create balance within you. Healing yourself is the fastest way to moving on with life. Its not easy, but it’s an accomplishment when you acknowledge that you have time to finally focus on yourself, for a change.
4. Ask for help
If you’re in a lockdown and you’re surrounded by family, it’s okay to ask them to listen to you rant. Ask them for their advice on how to feel better. Ask them to help you pick yourself up again. Trying to do things alone after coming out of a relationship can feel like torture to your soul, but if you’re lucky enough to be surrounded by people who love you, allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help. If you’re not surrounded by people, turn to social media for help. Video call your best friend, text your parents or siblings. We are blessed to be living in a time where isolation from the world doesn’t mean total isolation. There are many ways to communicate, find what works for you and use it.
5. Acceptance
I often find, and have also read, that three weeks is adequate time to get over a breakup, emotionally. If you’re on a three week lockdown, take the time to accept that the relationship is over. Introspect and understand what did and did not work in this relationship, and take ownership of areas that you may have contributed to in the relationship breakdown. Understand that what happens, happens for a reason. Not all relationships are meant to last, but you have three weeks to shift your mindset, accept the situation and go back into the world (post-lockdown) and be whoever you choose to be.
Lastly…
A lockdown/shutdown in a country can make a breakup feel suffocating and never-ending, but your mindset during this time is what matters most. You have time to heal, to breathe, to just be accountable for your life and those you’re surrounded with. Accept that you get this opportunity to breathe in the time of the coronavirus outbreak, whilst many people don’t, and understand that it’s okay to grieve a loss, but it’s also necessary to move on from it too.
