Feeling Fine

I was thinking to myself that you could be one of those people, you know the kind — they let you know, that you look like shit. Even if it’s true, you don’t just come out and say it! If that were etiquette, then I wouldn’t be smiling when I greeted most people. If happiness was determined by the look on most people’s faces, then a lot of folks look like shit. Shit is equivalent to concerned, worried, tired, or disengaged.

I took my son to the doctor for a minor skin issue, although I was reluctant, my schedule was free. We sat waiting the usual amount of time, that is to say, well beyond our scheduled appointment time.

I accompanied my son into that small examination room. The nurse asked the usual questions and attempted to ask two unusual ones, “Are taking any medications?” and “Are feeling depressed?” I stopped her. Process, policy, and position, are not held sacred by me, and that is a problem for some people. Without emotion, I stated, “If you want to ask me if I have observed any behaviors in my son which I think you should be made aware of, then ask away.” I rattled her comfort zone, and an impersonal standardized procedure gained an unexpected personalized touch.

She started to apologize and say that’s procedure and again, I interrupted her. It wasn’t her fault, it was my choice, and she didn’t like it. I insist on questions concerning my son’s health to directed at me. For instance, the nurse said, “I can see you are not allergic to any medications and you haven’t received a flu shot…” Oh dear,” I interjected my opinion, “He will not be getting one.” Would they have given him one without consulting if I had remained in the waiting room?

The nurse doesn’t ask me anything, she wraped it up and left the room. Her phony smile remained posted on the face until at the last moment, as the door closed, her true self-emerged, and bitch from hell slams the door. Again, we sit, well, I sit and my son does pushups and paces. We waited for the usual amount of time, thirty minutes. Doctor Seth comes in and behaves in a manner I appreciate because he can see that my son doesn’t look depressed or unhappy. As we are driving away, my son looks over at me saying, “They could have asked if I felt enthusiastic!”

Jeff Bailey © 2018 (Originally titled “No, Everything is Fine. Published in Cowbird 2016)