Finding Empathy through Story
Just another reason to read.
Do you remember that time Goku formed a Spirit Bomb for a whole episode? Or the time that Harry came out of the Triwizard Tournament with Cedric in his arms? How about the suspense, anxiety, or the sadness that came along with it?
Successful stories bring the audience in so close that they can see the environment around them, hear the fight of a battle scene, smell the air in a damp dungeon, and feel the sadness and pain of loss. Living in these stories for the thirty minutes of a TV show, or the days spent under the covers with a flashlight and a book provides an effective and beautiful way to learn and get in touch with empathy for those around us.
The Magic Treehouse books were a staple of my childhood. It was in the first grade that I found my way into Hogwarts. I dreamt of sleeping in the old train car with The Boxcar Children. Today the only thing that has changed is the characters that I live through and that it’s my income feeding my reading habit not my parents’.
This part breaks my heart because I won’t ever learn what it feels like to ride on the back of a warhorse into battle nor will I play the lute tactfully enough that when a string breaks I still make jaws drop. I don’t live a life that is the same as those in fantasy novels, and I should really be grateful for that. Most of them have pretty difficult lives.
But, I do live. And inside of fantasy or inside our own world we can discover an ocean of similarities. These similarities teach us lessons that are so much harder to find in real life. We must tread lightly in this world of ours, otherwise, we may end up hurting or being hurt. Turning to story first can help us wade into deeper waters.
When we open a new book or sit down to hear a story we prepare to take on a new relationship. We long for those characters that we will miss like a long time friend when we turn the last page. We seek connection each time we take in a story. It’s also what we often are looking for when meeting new people, so why is it so much harder?
Stories give us the chance to learn and master the arts of empathy in a low-risk and high-reward scenario. We won’t end up hurting anyone else or ourselves in the learning process and the only tears that come will be proof of the building of empathy inside us.
The growth of empathy is seeded in the fact that we can get a highlight reel of the main characters’ lives often in a chapter or less. The background we have provided for us can give mass amounts of insight into the character of each person in the story.
We learn what makes this character who they are right now. Rand al’Thor from The Wheel of Time is just an innocent farmer’s son brought up to be true to himself, work hard to survive, and be kind to others. He lost his mother young and his father is the most important person in his life. By the end of the series, we have transformed with Rand into what the world needs him to be, but also see him struggle and make decisions based on how he was raised.
As we watch characters move through the plotline we are often gripped by the same emotions they are feeling. We know what it is they are struggling with, celebrating, or their fear because we have lived with them through previous chapters.
With people, we don’t always get the opportunity to read their previous chapters. It can often be a lot harder to understand why they do what they do. Which in its simplest form, is just empathy.
Empathy is arguably the most helpful power our brain has to offer us. With empathy we
Having empathy for people in our lives can be an immensely difficult task. Getting emotionally involved on our side of things and our perspective blocks our ability to stop and think about what exactly is going through the other person’s mind. Books and other stories give us the chance to be emotionally removed. There is no part of us being personally attacked by the enemy coming to attack our hero, even though it can often feel personal. It feels personal simply because of how much we have aligned ourselves with the protagonist.
Have you ever thought about why the evil villain in stories does what they do? Some stories provide great backgrounds for the antagonists.
Star Wars tells us about what happens when our difficult emotions become too strong and we give in to them. It brings people over to the Dark Side if they live a life of being wronged and feeling put down. The anger manifests itself and can physically be channeled by people like Darth Vader.
The Sith fight because their lives have been strongly influenced by anger and hate until the point it is all they know. With stories, we have the capacity to learn all sides of things and have empathy for the bad guy. If we can imagine ourselves in a world full of anger and hate, which unfortunately some of us can relate to, then we understand what is really behind Vader’s mask.
Thich Nhat Hanh tells of empathy through talking of pirates. He speaks of how it is the easy route to side with the victims of pirates. We can often relate to the twelve-year-old girl that was killed by them more than we can relate to a pirate. He says that if we look deeper into this, we can see differently. We can see that if we were born to the same situation as those pirates, we ourselves would be pirates living the same life they are.
Stories help us develop that ability to look further into something. We can then connect to characters and really understand the why behind the what.
When I was young I acted out. I did it silently and was too smart for my own good, so I never got caught. For years I lived with pain inside my heart. I have seen too many that live with the same pain. I believe no one should have to live with that pain. So I read. I try and try to build my empathy to a point where maybe I can see past all the veils of life that hide the reasons.
Transferring this skillset into real life will bring us the opportunity to spread love and kindness. To help those that we can now see are struggling rather than joining all the others that simply push them away.
Read a book. Spread some love.
