Good to Be Back
Now that I’m in a much less stressful situation at work, I feel good about my job again. In fact, after seriously considering retiring just a few weeks ago, I went out last weekend and bought five new suits, along with ten shirts and a dozen ties. I guess you could say, I’ve made my decision. I really needed the clothes, if I’m going to keep working for a while. My current ones were beginning to fall apart.
It also helped that I’ve been coming around, physically, fully recovered from my oral surgery, and the migraines are beginning to subside. I did have a vertigo incident Tuesday morning, but that turned out to be caused by a clogged ear. I got it flushed out, and was back to normal by yesterday.
One of the unexpected benefits of my time recuperating from the oral surgery was rediscovering my storytelling muse. We’ve been more engaged in the craft for the past few weeks than we’ve been since I consciously took a hiatus from it last September. It feels good to be getting back into it.
Part of it has been discovering a few other writers whose work has really inspired me. I remember that used to happen a lot on Cowbird. A new storyteller would show up on the site, you’d start reading their stories, and it would reinvigorate you. Their enthusiasm and energy would be contagious. I’ve come across a couple of newer storytellers here on Medium whose work has had that kind of impact on me.
I have also been inspired by some of our Story Hall regular posters, recently. It seems that my little universe is conspiring to get me back to doing this on a more regular basis.
I think I may have underestimated the amount of stress my previous position had put on me. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I get a chance to breathe more, and just feel a lot less pressure to be always “on my toes” at work. This might just work for me. That office with the great view came with a greater cost. The price got to be just a little too high for me!
My view now might not be quite as good, but you don’t just sit around looking out your window all day, when you’re working, do you? I don’t. I find I’m interacting a lot more with people in a non-official capacity now, and can relax and just be myself more, at work. That’s golden, for me.
I had a meeting in my old office, yesterday. It’s about twice as big as the office I’m in now, and has that wonderful view. But the first thing I noticed was a pile of papers on the corner of the table, and the stress-lines on my old deputy’s face, the one who moved into that position behind me. “That’s the proposed union contract”, he grimaced, indicating the papers.
That’s all I needed to hear for an instant shot of gratitude. They’re in the middle of a protracted battle with the union over reopening the contract. Once that battle concludes, the real war will begin — the actual re-bargaining of the contract. It’ll be a bloodbath. I’m so glad I won’t be a part of that!
That was one of the big stressors of that job. It was over a couple of union issues that I found myself in two of the most bizarre situations early last year — called on the carpet in the former Acting Under Secretary’s office, in a scenario that felt eerily like the boardroom on the erstwhile “Apprentice” show, along with two other colleagues, knowing that one of our heads was going to roll. Mine survived both situations, but my enjoyment of that job was never quite the same after that. It went steadily downhill from there.
At least, since I let the current big boss know that I wanted out of that position, several months ago, I’ve been given a couple of opportunities to try something different on for size, and so far, this one seems to be a fit. I think this is also a factor in my getting back into my writing a little more, now. My job isn’t consuming quite as much of my psyche space. I can let my hair down a bit, and reflect.
It sure is good to be back.
