Keeping the Family Together
After Dad Died, It Could Have Gone Much Differently
From the Four Winds
Another week at the shore with my family draws to a close. In the morning, we’ll be leaving at the break of dawn, to begin the nine hour journey back home to northern Virginia. We’ve been coming down here to the South Carolina shore for 23 years now, since the year after Dad died. He’d always been the glue that held this large family together. We decided to keep it together after he was gone. For 23 years, this has been working.
Oldest brother Jim came in from Connecticut with his wife Dorothy. They have the beach house where everyone stops in for lunch every day. Staying with Jim is his son from North Carolina, with wife and two daughters. Also in their unit is Jim’s daughter from San Francisco with her daughter and partner, along with her daughter’s best friend. That’s ten folks, there.
Second oldest brother Chris, who began this tradition by inviting us all down the summer after Dad passed in 1997, has built his home here in Debordieu Colony, where we all gather in several houses each 4th of July week. Along with his wife, Cindy, who hail from Michigan, his big place played host to his four sons, three from Michigan and one from Minnesota, along with their wives, seven kids, and a family friend, as well as Cindy’s sister. That’s nineteen.
My little sister Mary, who lives in New Jersey, had a house for her whole clan, which included husband Jim, two sons and daughter, who come from New Jersey and Florida, daughter-in-law and two grandkids. That’s another eight.
Our house on the beach just housed me, wife Kathy, our son J.B., who lives in DC, and my older brother Ken, also from San Francisco. That’s just four, here.
In all, we were 41 this year. Brother Brian from Pittsburgh and sister Juli from San Diego couldn’t make it — with their families, that would have been another eight, plus Jim’s son and his wife from Hong Kong, for a total of 51. One year, we actually had the whole crew here at once, for Mom’s 80th birthday in 2004. That was truly marvelous.
Different Every Year, But Also the Same
Each year, it’s different down here, but one thing that’s always the same is the games of cards that are played every night, the water battles that take place during the 4th of July golf cart parade, and the family camaraderie that happens. We all value this time together, so we all invest in making it a time to remember.
We’ve proven that, even without the glue that used to hold us all together (Dad), through intention and desire we’ve remained together as a family, in our hearts, and in our presence here, each year, as we continue to grow and enjoy being part of a family that cares for each other, even when we are scattered to the four winds (Connecticut, California, New Jersey, Virginia, Washington, D.C., Michigan, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida and Hong Kong).
