Learning to Cook by Hawkeye Pete Egan B.

My whole world had just shifted and changed, dramatically — and I was loving every minute of it. It was becoming my world. I was making decisions that were causing these changes, and while some of them were questionable decisions, I was owning them, accepting the consequences of my actions, and stepping into who I would become.

It was an exciting time for me. A whole new adult world was opening up, that I was becoming a part of. I was no longer leading the double life, where I was one person at nights, working in the restaurant, and a completely different person in the daytime, at school, hanging with the pseudo-jock crowd, being their scapegoat.

I was done with all of that — now, I was just me, all the time, for good or for bad, and that was such a freeing feeling to just be me. But, I was out of work, and looking. Dad was pissed, Mom disappointed, but I didn’t really care what they thought.

I had just turned 16, so I wasn’t driving yet. My friend Tony, from the restaurant, would pick me up in the evenings to go out shooting pool, go bowling, or just drive around, listening to music and talking about life. Tony had a great outlook on life — he never sweated anything, he was very confident, just looking to have fun, and his attitude was contagious.

I stopped worrying about finding another job. I believed that one would show up eventually, and that’s exactly what happened. My brother Brian had worked at the Big Boy Eat’N’Park Restaurant in Dormont for a long time, and his girl friend, Judy, still worked there as a car hop. It was a place where people could either eat in the restaurant, or park in the parking lot out back, and the car hops would wait on them, and bring their food to them to eat right in the car. Brian apparently put a good word in for me with Mr. McPhillamy, the manager, and he hired me on there to be a grill chef.

The grill was out in the front, with a long counter right behind it, where folks could sit and eat and watch you cook steaks, burgers, chicken, fish, french fries, onion rings, and what-not, on the grill. There was a large window opening between the grill and the kitchen, where the car-hops would come up to from the back to place and pick-up their orders.

I was really grateful to have this new job, and I worked hard to learn the ropes of being a chef. I worked as many nights as they needed me, as I had been out of work for over a month, and really wanted to get a good income rolling in, again. I wanted to do well in this job, and to warrant my brother’s faith in me, for vouching for me with management.

I met a couple of real characters in my first week there, Darrel and Cy, two friends who went to the public high school, South Hills High, which was up on Mount Washington, right above the Liberty Tubes. I was still in the all-boys Catholic High School, South Hills Catholic, and becoming more and more dissatisfied with my experience there. I was cutting classes and dodging my old friends, as I knew they were out to kick my ass. I wanted no parts of their shenanigans any longer.

I was doing just enough to pass my classes, which I was barely doing. I no longer cared about my grades — I just wanted to finish high school, graduate, then get out into the real world. I had no aspirations to go on to college, at that point.

More than anything else, I really, really hated that there were no girls around in school. This had really crimped my style, and made me feel like I missed out on a lot of just learning how to be around girls, socially and all. At Locante’s Restaurant, I’d had the older waitresses who would flirt with me, and treat me like a person, but that wasn’t quite the same as girls my own age. I still had no idea how to talk to them. What was cool? What did they look for in a guy? Did I have what a girl liked? I had no idea. I’d had very little practice being around them.

When I was still hanging around with my jock friends, we had started going on “group dates” on Saturday nights with some of the girls who used to hang around the basketball court at St. Pius X school, going to movies together over at the Hollywood Theater in Dormont, and eventually pairing off into couples, sort of.

I had wound up with Janis at one point, who was really nice and damned good looking — but I’d really wanted to be with Laura, who was younger and sweeter, and whom I had a big-time crush on — but she’d wound up with my friend Chuck. Janis was much faster and worldly wiser than I was, and apparently had gotten a little frustrated when I failed to keep up with her.

It was just so weird, in a group setting like that, where I felt like my every move was scrutinized by the group. I was self conscious. This, of course, led to me being more the butt of all their jokes. I’d so hated that. I was so glad to be done with all of them. They were just a bunch of phonies with nothing better to do but pick on me, I’d finally concluded.

Darrel and Cy were full of stories about what went on at the public high school, and it sounded to me like one wild place. The more they talked about it, the more I wished I went there instead of the catholic school. I got to be good friends with both of them, especially Darrel. We started hanging out after work. Darrel really seemed to know how to act around girls, and I kind of hoped I could observe and learn a few tips from him, since I really had no clue.

It didn’t take him long to pick up one of the car-hops. There was another one that I developed a crush on, so I watched and learned how Darrel made his moves with Nancy, hoping to eventually be able to make some time with little Linda. She was so, so cute, and smart as a whip — she really made my heart go thump anytime she got near me. I just had no idea whatsoever what to do, how to get her to like me, and to want to go out with me. I bided my time while I watched and, hopefully, learned.

Originally published at cowbird.com.