Living in the Mirror ?— concocting ‘fake news’?
by Susan G Holland
Where does it start? Surely not in the first days of a person’s life when they can see only mother’s eyes.
In Greek mythology we discover the fabulous Narcissus who couldn’t take his eyes off himself. The tale does not end happily.
What is a mirror image?
Well, one thing it is: backwards.
Another thing it is: distorted
Now, in case the mirror in the bathroom or bedroom or compact is not handy, we also have our smart phone with which we make and skew photos of ourselves to document how we supposedly look! These we tweet or otherwise post on social media. Our image, then, is out there.
It seems very important to us. Being seen. We become self-aware early. Many elementary school-kids have smart phones now.
I believe we can actually lose ourselves in the looking glass, like Alice in Wonderland!
Losing ourselves in an“image” leaves our real self behind; our real self becomes a cast-away, hidden in the darkest corner, while we enter the world of make believe. Eventually, if this becomes a consistent choice, we banish the real, cowering, imperfect, not-blond-enough, or too short, or too gangling self to life in the closet lest someone finds out about our unlovely self.
Who are the they who matter? The ones who stand in judgment as to who makes the cut? Who’s in and who’s out? If you don’t make the cut, you are a failure, you believe.
So then you try harder to be the perceived ideal. You may diet to extremes, and work out for muscles, and slather on the make-up, and adopt the mannerisms, get the tattoo, hang with the gang, talk big, wear the cool stuff, get with the scene. And it is EVERYTHING.
Are they looking? Are they looking enough? Are they letting you into the big-time clique? Or are you one of those “others” who are “…meh…”?
How many “likes” did you get? Are the “meh” ones beginning to look up to you, with what you think is envy?
Are you sexy?
We imperfect humans don’t grow out of this stuff unless we have a substantial basic respect for the self we really are. We must eventually love that self the we have hidden in the closet, or we will become a cartoon. A cartoon with a career to protect.
Putting out a counterfeit is hard work. It can be expensive. And it is based on lies. If we have swallowed our own lies to the point of blindness, we are stuck. A little good grooming and appropriate dress is not a counterfeit.
But being afraid of being seen “off screen” is a problem. The real self is authentically more worthy than any counterfeit.
Narcissism is an addiction. Addictions make us feel powerful in a way, but there are terrible fears involved. What if the drug of choice is not available?
And becoming a fabricated image is a sort of drug. Without the “make-up” you are lost — you are dead!
It happens to the best of people. Especially it happens to people who are tops in their field of endeavor — the stars of screen and sports and commerce and other high-profile areas of fame. Their fame depends on the maintenance of their image.
My Dad used to say “The bigger they are, the harder they fall.” (I suppose he attributed that to Yogi Berra.) That adage has been a rule of thumb for me for some seventy years.
The fabled Emperor walking naked as a jay bird with his subjects cooperatively oohing and aahing about his beautiful outfit may actually have been a wonderful, intelligent, gifted, lovable man. A very worthy self!
But no one got to know that. All they really got to know was that he was a fool who believed crafty tailors who told him lies. What a dope! And he thought he was so perfect!
He is not remembered for anything except his blindness to his nakedness. His real self never had a chance!
Many a Celebrity, many a Monarch, many a tyrant, many a hoodlum has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Disorder. Search the internet and grit your teeth! Some of them are famous today.
What are the warning signs of narcissism? Psychology Today writes about them:
Check your “likes” on Facebook, and count the status symbols in your house!
Ask yourself what you would “die” without! If it’s prestige, beauty, affluence, fame, control, attention, success, imagine yourself with out it. Did you lose yourself in a closet sometime ?
Your self is a VIP. Unique, and with gifts built in. Not the kind of self one hides in a closet!
Musings by SGHolland 2017
