My Friend Harry
A Good Friend, Gone Too Soon
I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain
I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I’d see you again.
James Taylor, Fire & Rain
I just learned that the guy who was probably the closest friend I ever made on the job in my 40 ½ years of government service, died of COVID last week. Harry was just a few years older than me, but he retired about 8 years ago. He just buried his father last summer, who lived to be 91.
Harry was a good guy — he would give you the shirt right off his back, without a second thought. He was funny, too.
Harry and I car-pooled to the office in Philadelphia from South Jersey. Well, we car-pooled to the high-speed line, and took the train from a station close to Philadelphia. That saved us the high parking rates of Center City. Harry was well-known for his thrifty-ness.
But, Harry also knew how to enjoy life. He’s one of those friends who impressed on me the importance of enjoying the moment, living each day like it might be your last. I’m so glad he lived that way. I know he enjoyed his life, right to the very end.
One of the last things he said to me, in a facebook message, was “To stay young, you have to act young, and be with young people!” He lived that way.
I’ll never forget the time we were driving home from the office late on a Friday afternoon in the early springtime. It had rained hard earlier in the day, but the sun was out and it was just warm enough to drive with the windows open. Harry was driving that day.
We’d reached a point where the highway diverged in about three different directions, and it always got backed up right there. We were inching along in the left lane. The road we were on led directly to the Atlantic City Expressway. Somebody who was in a big hurry to get there decided to drive up and pass us on the shoulder to our left. Just as he was passing us, he hit a big pothole filled with water from the earlier rains, and sent that water flying in a huge wave right towards us. I saw it coming and tried to tell Harry to close his window, fast, but couldn’t get the words out in time…
We were both in suits — that wave of water hit Harry full on, right through that window, and he blocked it from coming over to me on the passenger side. I looked over at him, and he looked just like a drowned rat. Water was just flowing off of him — he was soaked to the bone! We were both in shock for a second, it had happened so fast. He got so pissed, madder than I’d ever seen him, turning fire engine red and ready to go into full-on road-rage mode on the idiot who’d drenched him — but I couldn’t help it, I just burst out laughing, and I couldn’t stop.
My stomach hurt I was laughing so hard. Harry yelled, “It’s NOT funny, Pete”, but every time I looked over at him, I just laughed harder, I couldn’t help myself, and I said, “Yes it is, Harry — yes it is! I didn’t get hit by one drop, but you look like a drowned rat — thanks, man! I’m really sorry, I really am — but it’s f***ing funny as shit!” He finally got it, and broke up laughing — we laughed all the way home, another 12 miles or so.
That happened in 1995 — every time I saw him after that, he’d remind me of that time, and we would both laugh, hard, again at the memory of that wave coming through the window at him.
That’s what friends do. Harry always made me laugh, and vice versa — but right now, I just can’t stop crying. I always thought that I’d get to see my friend at least one more time again. I hope wherever he is right now, he is laughing. Thinking of him will always bring a smile to my face.
