The Story Hall
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The Story Hall

My New Wor(l)d is Popping Up Everywhere!

Heraclitus — ‘No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.’


I am sure it happens to everyone. That obscure word that comes up in the news or in a magazine or in a speech — the one you had to go to the dictionary for — that all of a sudden is in everything you read or hear or see! Did everyone else always know that word and somehow you have never heard it before?

There is another place to find that wily set of letters! The Phronistory!

But I digress.

What I am getting at is about ideas more than about words.

Recently I read several books that lean toward the metaphysical. Well, the metaphysical realm is a new territory to explore for me. Yes, I have read about metaphysical things before and have three friends who have adopted Rudolph Steiner’s philosophy of Anthroposophy. They tried to get me interested but ran up against my other beliefs and decided to give up and still love me anyway.

Well! Then I ran into the Plotkin book (Nature and the Human Soul) and then No Boundary by Wilbur, and then some more books along similar lines.

Anything about nature fascinates me. If my Anthroposophic friend from school days had approached me via Nature rather than by Eurythmy she might have moved me more — (no pun intended) — but her mother who was a Netherlander who was very advanced in the Nature part of Anthroposophical philosophy really began to involve me in the visual arts approach during a weekend visit my friend and I had at her home.

If she had not lived in remote Redding CT I might have been persuaded.

But even though two other of my long-time friends became swept up in Rudolph Steiner’s teachings, I was busy on my own travels into the study of Old and New Testament Scripture and finding it relevant and life-changing.

Fast forward to this past year’s reading. >>>>

Now that I have worked my way through several very potent books mentioned above with note-taking and underlining on nearly every page, I have learned a new concept sufficiently enough that I find it hiding in everything I read!

I find it in Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations, and in Wendell Barry’s Jayber Crow. I find it in the biography of Monet, and in quotes by scientists (Hawking, Einstein, Feynman) and by poetry by Eliot, Whitman, Dickinson. I find it in accounts of Tolstoy and especially in his Essays.

And I find it in the Woods, and in the Snow, and in the Sky, and in my own story of important phenomena of my own life.

This concept has been there all along but I had not put a name to it! And here it was known to people since the beginnings of “time” as we know it.

There is a thread of familiarity, now, as I come across a passage about the nature of water. Whether it is or is not significant that I was born on the cusp of Pisces and Aquarius, water has been my element from the get-go. Always!

Now Wendell Berry is having his protagonist, Jayber Crow, mesmerized by a river in his hometown which carries an endless ribbon of water from wherever to wherever, whether anyone notices it or not. It’s just going.

This is the same river I watched from little-girl-hood. It is the River Glorious of the hymn. It is the endless water I videoed at a special spot in the forest,

into which I have asked to be launched on a chip of wood by my children when my remains become ash.

It is the magical oceans through which waters pass and the mystery of fog and the magical virga seen under clouds on a bright and sunny day. I have always had my head turned toward the water of life including the River Glorious of that hymn.

And so, my original pagan self has been dwelling in that ongoing world beyond time all this time, and I didn’t yet have a name for it. Who knows what I learned before I came to earth, and what I will learn when I leave?

My doppleganger ( a fellow wonderer/explorer from my teen-aged era) and I used to lie on the flat stonewall by the tennis court for hours on a lazy day and talk endlessly about infinity and eternity and we would try to get a handle on it all. I found out, at the nether end of my life that he and I were still doing just that. (But that’s another story. )

But we are already “in touch” with it! That other reality, I mean. The one from which we came and to which we go. And all that wondering is a call to wonder more and more. I believe that. I believe we will eventually know answers — maybe after a long time or maybe in a short time. But not until we get to that other reality.

We dip our toes into the flowing water and feel energy from somewhere that is carrying molecules (including our foot-fall-out) somewhere. The foot molecules of people sometime before us are in that water from whenever and wherever they dipped their feet into it, and now our molecules are carried along as part of the energy. Think of it!

I am apt to dive in with my whole body. That is what it was like when I threw my tired and desperate self into the hands of God one day in August 1963 on a quiet Sunday in Phoenixville,PA. Little did I guess what that current would carry me to. (Little did I really care — anything was better than the despair I was in at that time in my life.) That current was a key moment that opened up all kinds of new avenues of understanding. And promises to continue to teach me right into the next world I find myself in.

I just never knew what it was called — that reality. Some people call it metaphysical. I call it God.

SGHolland ©2017



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Susan G Holland

Susan G Holland


Ever curious, I wonder, I ask, I probe, I learn, I write ;soon a grateful 85 still discovering the brand new day. I moved to New Mexico, a whole new paradigm!