Red car — Bald man — (^&$&)%# and $##&%!

by Susan G Holland

He drove up the narrow parking lot incline and jauntily and neatly backed his glossy, flossy, jazzy little red top-down sports car into a parking space.

The show off.

I was following, intending to turn left out into the roadway, and moved ahead past his car once he backed in.

He drove right out in front of me and abruptly stopped with a little skid.

He glared at me and looked as if he would jump out and bonk me!

I motioned to him with a shrug, and gestured that he had backed in…what was I to think?

He was furious, his body language and mouth movements told me. He backed back in, angrily, and I passed. He looked bullets through me. I stopped at the exit to check for traffic.

I was having such a visceral reaction it amazed me! I was really fuming — angry enough at the arrogant road rage of this man that I caught road rage. Like a virus!

Purposely and loudly spinning my tires, I exited the parking lot.

I’m a 76 year old grandmother who was only trying to drive my ten year old car to the gas station!

And he had parked! I mean he was in the parking spot. Parked! Really!

Was His Spiffiness not yet finished with the road? What WAS his problem?

I turned in at a gas station, and went in, to pay cash ahead of time.

I leaned over and just announced into the face of the unsuspecting girl behind the counter, “I’ve got a case of road rage!”

Then I had to laugh at the silliness of it.

She laughed at my laughing.

I said, “Will you be my barber and listen to my road rage?”

She smiled and said “sure.”

I told her. I used a couple strong words too. And pounded a bit on the counter.

Then we laughed and I thanked her for being my barber as I handed over gas money.

I have to wonder what’s in the security camera coverage of that interchange? Did it look like I was mad at her? Probably.

ADDENDUM: I now suspect that this very man is the bald man who lives across the street from my daughter’s house where I live in the downstairs apartment! Wouldn’t that be amazing? Could it be? These are the people with the beautiful Weimeraner we take care of when they go traveling. Nice folks.

I wonder where he keeps the red car?

And why he is so quick to road rage?

And whether he recognizes my old car sitting in the driveway?

….And if he recognizes that enraged old grandma who burnt rubber going out of that parking lot?

True story and “police” diagram by SGHolland©2017

Revised version of a story originally published at cowbird