The Art and Science of Love
Learning to Master It
The workshop we attended was called The Art and Science of Love. It had a lot of good information, some interesting exercises, and it produced good results for us.
We were looking for something to help us get more engaged in certain areas of the intimacy of our relationship. We’ve been doing great in a lot of those areas — better than we have, in many ways, ever — but felt like a scientifically artful approach could help to motivate those certain areas we felt were still coming up short. It did just that — but we did it our way.
In fact, we did our “homework” so well on Saturday night and Sunday morning, back at our room, we decided to skip the second day of the workshop. Good communication was the key to our granting ourselves a day back, to live the Art and Science of Love, instead of sitting in a chair for another 8 long hours, studying and learning about it. We’d been there and done that — on Saturday.
While the space for the workshop was lovely, the set-up was a bit awkward, and the chairs were quite uncomfortable. We’d gotten the books, with more practical exercises to try out. Sunday was supposed to be all about dealing with conflict. That’s an area we’ve kind of mastered, through 36 years of being together and weathering many a storm.
As we were getting ready to go climb those two long flights of stairs (no elevator) to the workshop space, where the female German facilitator with the cool Freudian accent imparted the wisdom from the books, I wasn’t especially looking forward to another day sitting in the hard-backed, uncomfortable seats for 8 long hours. Besides, it was shaping up to be an especially beautiful day outside.
So, I spoke up — “you know, I feel like we might have gotten what we came for, already — do we really need to learn how to handle conflict? Maybe we could skip today’s workshop?”
She was feeling the same way I was, but hadn’t wanted to say anything. As soon as I said it, I could tell by the relief written all over her being, she felt the same way I did. So, we agreed to bag Day Two, and grant ourselves a leisurely day where we didn’t have to rush checking out of our room, we could drive back down home in the morning instead of the evening, and still have some time to wind down at home before getting ready for another work-week.
It felt like such a gift, getting that day back. We came home and enjoyed our swim spa in an afternoon that had warmed up to 65 F (it’s still February!), and had a lazy afternoon and evening, thoroughly enjoying the unexpected gift of wonderful down-time. As for the conflict lessons we missed? We have the books, and promised to read and practice those lessons together.
Come to think of it, we might well be on our way to being masters of the Art and Science of Love! We’ll keep working at it!
