The Sparrow and Me
Being Trapped Inside and Outside
I can feel him in the morning
I can feel him in the stars at night
From Grand Funk Railroad’s I Can Feel Him In the Morning
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See me
Feel me
Touch me
Heal me
by Pete Townsend, The Who
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A Bird In the House
Yesterday evening, I’d gone out to our back patio to cook some burgers on the grill. I’d gone out the sliding glass door, leaving the door open while I was setting the burgers, buns, spatula and lighter down beside the grill. Just as I went back to close the door, a sparrow flew right into the house.
I yelled up to Kathy “there’s a bird in the house!” She was thrilled, to be sure. Of course, you know that sparrow flew right upstairs and into the kitchen. I knew this, because I heard Kathy scream. As I bounded up the stairs, she said, “I have him closed in the kitchen”. Good - I’ll get that critter!
I figured I could go in there and coax the winged creature out a window. I quickly opened and closed the door into the kitchen, and almost immediately jumped as the bird winged right at, then past me, frantically looking for an escape route.
A bird inside a relatively small room inside a house looks much different than a bird flying free outside in the open sky. It’s almost like having a rat in your kitchen, only much faster, and with wings.
Aligned Objectives
I went in armed with a little net thingy that we got with our swim-spa, that I only planned to use if I absolutely had to. My primary objective was aligned with the bird’s — to get it the hell out of my house, before it started shitting on everything!
I got over to the side window and opened it, along with the screen, to provide my little sparrow friend a way out. Alas, he was too freaked out and panicked, flying back and forth, up and down, and all over, doing his best to avoid me and my net, to see the opened window.
I called him a few choice versions of stupid, when it occurred to me that it might be better if I opened one of the windows above the sink, since he’d already flown to that window twice, hoping it was a way out. When I finally got it opened, and removed the screen, the little bugger finally made his great escape, with a little help from me and my net — I didn’t bag him, just used it to shoosh him in that general direction.
The burgers were out on the grill on the patio cooking this whole time. Since it seemed like this whole ordeal with the sparrow took forever, I was sure I’d probably burnt the burgers to a crisp, but they were actually fine, just ready to be flipped. I’m sure the whole thing had actually happened in a matter of a few minutes.
Locked Out
So, this morning I was reminded why I prefer going out the sliding glass door over going out the nearby regular door, to the patio. The sliding glass door doesn’t automatically lock behind you when you shut it. The regular door does, if you don’t remember to turn the little locking button to unlock the door on your way out.
However, after last evening’s ordeal with the sparrow, I used the regular door to come out for my morning jacuzzi, swim and quiet time. As you might have already guessed — I’ve locked myself out of my own house!
I also promptly knocked my big mug o’ coffee off the side of the jacuzzi — fortunately not into the jacuzzi, but I lost the whole mug of my morning wake-up juice. I have been out here since 5:30 am. It’s now 6:30. I’m just waiting for a light to come on in the breezeway above here, that will signal that Kathy’s awake and can let me back into my own house. I didn’t want to wake her up before she’s ready to be up.
Fortunately, it’s an incredibly balmy morning (63 F), I did bring water out with me, so I have something to drink. I’ve actually enjoyed some lovely quiet time, a good soak in the jacuzzi, and I haven’t even made it into the swim-spa yet.
I’m really hoping, by the time I take my swim, I’ll see that little light in the breezeway go on. I do have to eventually, at some point, make my way into work today! Oh, wait — there it is! Kathy’s up!
I’ll get that swim in this evening. Oh, this could have been so much worse!
