The Spectrum

This ad was intended to say “Here Ye, here ye, what a great deal. Your going to call or, better yet, you’ll come into the office and inquire.”

That graphic doesn’t have a total because by omitting the total, the plus sign can be (would hopefully be) interpreted as signs of inclusion, of unity and not addition.

For over a year, Spectrum has been soliciting us via invitation Pseudo-personal letter style in an attempt to lure us into increasing our current monthly charge by $60 and giving us access to 125 useless T.V. channels. I didn’t need the additional service but why not take a shot at lowering my bill. I decided to claim financial hardship, rather than, embark on tale with too many lies.

I kvetched and managed a meager discount.

“…and that total, Mr. Bailey (using my surname always weakens my knees) is $89.95!” I bet the office, to which I was connected, had bets placed on the amount of time it would take for each customer to realize their mistake. It wasn’t thirty bucks for the entire package, it was thirty for each part, the sales rep continue reciting the script. What I thought was the end result, my managing to reduce our monthly bill by $19 was another misinterpretation on my part.

The following morning, I called Spectrum again and confirmed what I had heard the day prior. I asked, “Will there be an additional charges?” No, was the reply. Happy with that response I drove 26 miles to the nearest branch office. When I saw the turn of the century house converted into an office building, I become apprehensive and my bullshit antenna deployed.

Standing in a small living room behind a big counter were two reps in back off to two large computer screens. “May I help you, thank you for choosing Spectrum.” So thoughtful to say when I didn’t have a viable alternative.

I explained why I was there and before the rep said anything, I sensed something was amiss. “What did you say your number was?” I hadn’t given my number and I didn’t let that that go unnoticed. “You say you called in yesterday but I do not see any record of that call.” I have little patience for inept telecommunication specialist and I resisted cupping the back of his neck with my hand and pulling his face close to mine, close enough for him to smell the stench of death on my breath but Instead, I became the ever increasingly annoyed customer.

Had I not been initially and foolishly misled by the flyer, had I not been told that the record of my call was missing, or, had the reps tone not implied that I was lying, I may have reacted better to the news that the promised $19 savings, with all said and done, had been whittled down to $7.

By this time the supervisor had emerged from the backroom, formerly know as the kitchen, and placed her hand on the reps shoulder and said, “It’s alright, calm down.” Had I detected blood? Could it be that I just don’t care anymore and I have said screw convention?

I asked, “Is he (the rep) an employee?” As stunned as she (the manager) was, she answered, yes. “Is he getting paid?” Again she reluctantly followed with a yes. “Then let him do his job. Part of his job entails dealing with an irate customer who fell prey to deception advertising, who was given bogus information, who had a conversation and agreement which you have no record of and to top it off, discovers that a $19 per month saving has just been whittled down to $7. That’s his job.” That took much longer to write than to say.

I finished my tirade just as another customer walked in and in her hand was a flyer.