VULNERABLE
From the head-end of the hospital bed
The earliest I can remember learning the sound of the word ‘Pandemic’ was in the context of Bird Flu i.e. H5N1 Avian Influenza Type A virus, which continues to be a potential pandemic threat. Ever since its first outbreak of human infection in the year 1997, the virus would always make it to the news headlines owing to several outbreaks every now and then in different parts of the world. One of my geography teachers had told me how her Influenza felt different from the common cold — your body temperature almost always runs high , your body aches keep you in bed, there’s chest discomfort and then you could be having a stuffy nose or wake up with a sore throat. Understanding ‘flu’ had been easy back then. And if it was a ‘Bird Flu’, you’d have to turn vegan for a while.
But HIV-AIDS sounded different. And difficult. Frighteningly enough, it was another ‘Pandemic’ in the making that we’d have to study for ages to come. “Firstly, learn to spell it out correctly. You’ll get to study the disease later”, Mom would say.
A-c-q-u-i-r-e-d I-m-m-u-n-o D-e-f-i-c-i-e-n-c-y S-y-n-d-r-o-m-e.
Too much for a nine-year-old. General Knowledge questions were now getting tougher. I had started hating abbreviations!
AIDS isn’t a disease. It is a syndrome, as we found out later. Metaphorically, this made Biology classes longer! If it isn’t a disease, why are we even studying it? And if it isn’t a disease, what the hell does the virus do? Moreover, why is this virus so slow? And why can’t we just kill it? While all such endless questions were being answered by the faculty during an awareness programme on the occasion of the World AIDS Day, I was pretty sure in my heart that I would reach home safely without contracting HIV. Yes, I was that sure. Fortunately enough.
Today I am not. As WHO declares COVID-19 yet another ‘Pandemic’, I type with a heavy heart loaded with a bag of mixed feelings that yes, I am scared first, and proud later that I belong to the community of healthcare professionals, which stands among one of the most vulnerable groups in the times of a healthcare crisis. The deaths being reported in India are enough to make us feel like an army of soldiers standing at the warfront, ready to sacrifice our wellbeing! Should the unforeseen hit, would we wield the laryngoscope and intubate the patient hungry for air? Most probably, yes. And would we still be pretty sure in our hearts that we’d come home safe? Well, that’s another story for yet another day. Nothing spreads like fear. Till then, let me look for the silver lining. Let me take pride in the fact that we know the seven steps of handwashing and we’ve got free access to facemasks. Frequent exposure renders us a little more resistant to the organisms floating in the environment as compared to our non-medico counterparts. And we know how to hold our nerves right even when everything is falling apart.
‘Vulnerable’ for us is a state we get ourselves into, only to know how victory over a ‘moment of crisis’ tastes like. Right now, I am standing at the head-end of the hospital bed and this is how I feel like.
Honest. Proud. Disarmed.
