Honeyland | Lore
Victoria Sponge meets Sergeant Pepper and the Isolated Souls’ Motorcycle Club
(Chapter 6: A Cocarro Tale)
*** In the distant past ***
Every afternoon, the air around the Isolated Souls’ Motorcycle Club is filled with the roaring sound of a motorcycle engine. Swooping round the bend and cruising down the road, Sergeant Pepper is the image of cool. The bike rumbles to a stop as he dismounts smoothly and walks towards the bar that serves as the clubhouse. On this particular day, he’s surprised to find someone waiting for him.
Sitting in the shade of the front porch was a pensive little cake, looking for all the world like she had nowhere else to go. Her cream-frosting hair was pulled back and up into a no-nonsense ponytail, set with a strawberry, and her face was smooth, golden sponge cake. Next to her was a breadstick scepter, topped with a chocolate biscuit, a cherry, and a blob of whipped cream. ‘Hello there,’ he called out, ‘is everything ok?’
The little cake looked up at him as he approached. Now that he was closer, he could see clearly that she had a determined, yet anxious look on her face. With everything strange that had been going on recently, Pepper was cautious, but he knew he could handle himself. Before he could say any more though, the cake nodded to herself, and hopped off the bench.
‘Hello there, I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but I think I’m in need of your help.’ She walked towards him and with a hand raised to shake. ‘I’m Victoria Sponge, and I was wondering if you and your motorcycle were available for a quest? I will compensate you, of course.’
‘A quest? Why don’t you come inside and we can discuss this over a drink? I have a feeling I’m going to need one, judging by the look on your face when I pulled up.’ Sergeant Pepper unlocked the door and gestured inside. ‘Come on, and we’ll get out of this crazy weather we’ve been having recently. Have you felt the air just tastes wrong?’
Victoria looked a little embarrassed, ‘Actually, that’s kind of why I’m here. My best friend, Robodog, and I…’ She trailed off for a moment before continuing, ‘we’re the reason the air tastes wrong. I’ve only just got back from an adventure that went so wrong. We were hunting for The Golden Spatula and we accidentally set off a cave-in, deep inside the Donut Cave. We got separated, and I went to look for him. While I did, I realized that the cave-in had opened up some tunnels that were filled with poisonous gas.’
‘Even worse, I noticed that the gas was then flowing out of the cave network and back up to the surface. I raced back topside, to see how bad it was, and to get help for Robodog. But once I got there, I could see that this was a far bigger problem. The gas was leaking out into the world from access tunnels and ventilation shafts all over Cocarro! I shifted focus, I didn’t want to abandon Robodog, but this was far bigger. I sent a message to the Imaginaries, asking them to search for RD, but I had to come up with a way to help lessen the impact of the poison!’
She stopped speaking, breathing a little heavily. By now, Pepper had poured them both a fresh glass and he was weighing up all that she’d been sharing. ‘Hold on there missy, let me get this straight. You and your friend Robbydog — ’
‘Robodog.’ she interjected.
‘ — right, Robodog. You and your friend Robodog are the cause, accidentally you say, of the sky changing color and the air tasting wrong?’
‘Yes!’ She burst into gumdrop tears.
‘Ok ok. Easy there, we’ll figure out a way to put this right. But why have you come to me?’ he asked, gently.
Victoria looked surprised for a second, as if she’d thought she’d explained it all. ‘Oh! Did I not explain clearly? With poison leaking out all over Cocarro, I need fast and nimble transportation to help me get to as many leaks as quickly as possible. I can’t think of a better vehicle than a motorcycle, and you have the only one in Cocarro. But, you’d need to come too as I don’t know how to drive one.’
Pepper nodded slowly as he processed the whole story. It made a lot of sense that she’d have come to him for help, the bike WAS the fastest way of getting around Cocarro. And it’s not like he was ever that busy really, being the only member of the club meant that he didn’t have that much to do. But he still had some questions first. ‘Hmmm, ok then. Say I am willing to help you. Do you have a plan for dealing with this poisonous gas leak? Would we need to carry any supplies or equipment on the bike? Where would we stay or sleep as we traveled around?’
Victoria looked mildly offended, ‘Of course! I’ve read Queen Melissandra’s Definitive Guide to Exploration. It’s my favorite book. I studied it in depth again before Robodog and I went out to hunt for the Spatula, and I stick to the three principles at all times! If you don’t know, the second principle is Preparation, and I am prepared. I have a plan, we don’t need much equipment, and I have enough contacts around Cocarro that we can find accommodation wherever we go.’
Pepper smiled to himself at Victoria’s enthusiasm, ‘Well ok then, that sounds like a plan to me. I’d be happy to help you. I have one more question though, do you have anything to counteract the poison?’
She shook her head. ‘Not yet, no. I was hoping that I could figure that out along the way. There’s still so much unknown about it. I also don’t know what it looked like up here when the poison started to leak. Could you tell me what you experienced?’
Twirling his mustache, the sergeant smiled, ‘Well firstly, I may be able to help with that. I’m a bit of a master brewer, if I do say so myself. Perhaps we can work together on a concoction. Secondly, it was strange up here when the gasses came through. Lots of folk felt very weak and frail, but the strangest thing was the sky. It changed color from blue to a zesty orange, almost like marmalade.’
Victoria felt a bubble of hope begin to rise up in her chest. She’d found transport and an ally, potentially a friend. Maybe there was a way to fix all of this after all. And then, if necessary, she could go back and find out what had happened to Robodog. She nodded her head once and asked, ‘Marmalade huh? How quickly do you think you could brew something up? And what would you need to do so? Would a sample of the poison be enough?’
‘I’ve got enough supplies to make several batches of beer. If we can get a sample of the poison, we can see what works best to counter it, even for a short while. If you go and fetch a few containers worth, I’ll start setting up all of my kit. See you in a few hours?’ Without looking back to see if Victoria agreed, Pepper turned and began pulling bits of equipment from beneath the bar.
Victoria watched the old pepper for a minute before collecting a few containers from behind the bar and heading off outside. It wouldn’t take her long to find a vent and gather some poison samples, she just needed to hold her breath while doing so. She was glad to start with this, having a way to counter the poison would put less pressure on her plan of trying to stop the leaks. She was aware of the fact that plugging up holes would concentrate the poison escaping out of the other airways. But if they had a counter, then it bought them more time to help everyone.
She returned to the clubhouse a few hours later, carrying samples of the poison in the containers. As she walked through the door, she stopped in surprise. Pepper had completely rearranged the clubhouse for his brewing. The tables had been moved around to form several long work surfaces, and the chairs had been stacked and pushed to one side. Her nose was filled with the scent of hops and she could hear the bubbling of liquids coming from a number of the vats and beakers he had set up around the room.
‘Hello! I’m back with poison,’ she raised the containers as she started forwards again. ‘Hopefully it’s enough and you can make something that works.’
Pepper grunted in reply, too focused on measuring out some ingredients to do much more. Once he’d finished, he signaled that Victoria should put on some protective gear and come to help. Together they worked for hours, testing and calculating before testing again. Some samples tasted delicious but had no effect, some had an effect but tasted awful, others had no effect and looked repulsive.
Eventually, Pepper held a flask up to the light and said, ‘I think this is as good as we’re going to get. It won’t be a permanent solution, you’ll have to see how your plan goes for that, but it will help for a little bit. Anyone who drinks this beer will be immune to the effects for a short while. I’ll have to brew this in bulk and start serving it at the bar! What should we call it? I’ll let you have the honor.’
Victoria smiled, tired but feeling triumphant. ‘Hmm, let me think. Anti-poison Beer? Pint-idote? No, I know! Marmalade Skies Beer. So that whenever the sky is that color, you know to drink it.’
He nodded in agreement, ‘A fine name, and we’ve done some fine work. You go and get some rest now, I’ll set a batch to brewing and do the same myself. We’ve got a lot of work to do, and we have to spread the word about this beer so that everyone knows that there’s a way to survive the poison. I’m pleased to have met you, Victoria Sponge. I look forward to our adventure!’
‘Me too. I’m grateful for your help, Sergeant. Resting sounds like a good idea,’ she yawned. ‘We do have a lot of work to do, I’ll see you in the morning.’ With that, she wearily walked off to a bedroom to collapse.
Read the previous story: Chapter 5: A Cocarro Tale — The Origin of the Golden Spatula
Read the next story: Chapter 7: A Cocarro Tale — Queen Melissandra’s Definitive Guide to Exploration — an extract
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