The Story of Cake

Published in

The Story of Objects

4 min readJan 4, 2016

A birthday cake was made, and during the decorating of the cake, the baker suddenly realised there was a story in the making……the cake became a crime-scene and inspired a murder mystery story…..

The cake was for Pete, who was celebrating his 60th birthday. Here it is, the first ever Story of Cake — there may be more to come — especially if someone else is inspired by it……

The Lawnmower Man Cake

The eccentric Dr. Lawrence Angelo puts mentally disabled landscaper Peter on a regimen of experimental pills and computer-simulated training sequences in hopes of augmenting the man’s intelligence. In time Pete becomes noticeably brighter and also begins to fare much better with the opposite sex. But, as he develops psychic powers, he realizes that those around him have taken advantage of his simplicity his whole life, and he plots a bloody revenge. (Inspired by the synopsis for Lawnmower Man, read the real one here)

The experimental pills had seriously damaged his mind — they had been administered by dissolving them in Sauvignon Blanc, and he drank copious amounts of it. It turned out that as well as being super attractive to the opposite sex, he also found that his psychic powers not only work on women, they also have a profound effect on his vegetable garden and the pets he keeps. His prize vegetables were fantastic. They got bigger and bigger and soon his garden was really too small to contain them. But he carried on mowing his lawns and deadheading his flowers, hoping soon things will return to normal. The pets also grew and grew.

Pete had always loved gardening, enjoyed the simple things in life, but since these odd things had started happening, he began to think that most people he knew were not to be trusted.

“Hmmm, if I can use my psychic powers to make things grow bigger, maybe I could do the reverse, and seek revenge on those that have abused me?”

A lot of people had upset him in the past, so he sat down and made a list of them — there were 60 altogether. That’s a lot of people to sort out. He decided as it would soon be his 60th birthday, that seemed like the date to do it.

There were those cool people that teased him, hipsters, they wore bright lime green clothes, sunglasses and trousers hanging low off their hips, swaggering around, how he hated them. And those silly beards! Then there were all the medical people, the ones who kept saying he was still mentally ill…ha, not the case now, not with these superpowers!

The groups of fitness freaks that wore hi-viz clothes were particularly irritating — all posers, in their tight fitting tops and Lycra shorts. They moved around in big groups, jogging together in a cloud in the park, or cycling in clusters, blocking the roadway for car drivers. Darned irritating people.

How could he revenge them for their tormenting ways? He decided to invite them to walk through his garden. He’d seen the impact giant rabbits can have on people in films, such as Donnie Darko and Harvey. His superpowered white rabbit was getting bigger by the day and would scare them witless; the duck had grown enormous. The dog barked at the giant duck constantly, as it watched the piranhas in the pond, wondering if it dare take a risk and get in.

The garden was like a scene from Gulliver’s Travels. He’d try and keep the visitors on the path, a bit like keeping people in their cars in safari parks, but he had no idea whether that would work. He just wanted to scare them.

So the big day came and he left the gates open and watched the invited groups of people wander in, not sure what to expect. Maybe a birthday party? He knew he didn’t want to encounter them, so he decided to watch them from above, by flying his drone camera overhead. When he saw how tiny they looked in his magical garden, he was delighted. They were little more than ants.

This is what he saw: