I can almost see paradise

Jp Avila
example the story of our trip
7 min readDec 12, 2014

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Today. No. I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she’s shaped like a…she’s the belle of the ball! That’s so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn’t eat that, did you? I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it’s hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Oh…yeah…the guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in three months. Come on! Fried cheese… with club sauce. Speaking of settling, how’s Ann? You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you’ll be surprised at some of your phrasing.

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. Oh…yeah…the guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in three months. Come on! The CIA should’ve just Googled for his hideout, evidently. A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine.

Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens. That coat costs more than your house! I’m not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. She calls it a mayonegg.

Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in three months. Come on! Hey, if I can’t find a horny immigrant by then, I don’t deserve to stay. But where did the lighter fluid come from? So did you see the new Poof? His name’s Gary and we don’t need anymore lawsuits. It’s a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? Can’t a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! It’s so watery. And yet there’s a smack of ham to it. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I’d eat the inside of your ear.

Nellie is blowing them all AWAY. I don’t want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! I didn’t get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Daddy horny, Michael. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow.

Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn’t do it. It’s one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars? Buster, what are you doing with mother’s rape horn? It’s so watery. And yet there’s a smack of ham to it. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. Yeah, like I’m going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON.

Everybody dance… NOW. I could use a leather jacket for when I’m on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. You mean the guy we’re meeting with can’t even grow his own hair? Come on! Buster’s in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. God knows they’re squinters.

What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? And although the intervention didn’t work, it turned into one of the Bluth family’s better parties. They don’t allow you to have bees in here. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care!

Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. Fried cheese… with club sauce. Chickens don’t clap! I don’t care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. ♪♪ It ain’t easy being white… ♪♪ You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.

And here is another version.

No. I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she’s shaped like a…she’s the belle of the ball! That’s so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn’t eat that, did you? I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it’s hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Oh…yeah…the guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in three months. Come on! Fried cheese… with club sauce. Speaking of settling, how’s Ann? You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you’ll be surprised at some of your phrasing.

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. Oh…yeah…the guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in three months. Come on! The CIA should’ve just Googled for his hideout, evidently. A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine.

Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens. That coat costs more than your house! I’m not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. She calls it a mayonegg.

Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in three months. Come on! Hey, if I can’t find a horny immigrant by then, I don’t deserve to stay. But where did the lighter fluid come from? So did you see the new Poof? His name’s Gary and we don’t need anymore lawsuits. It’s a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? Can’t a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! It’s so watery. And yet there’s a smack of ham to it. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I’d eat the inside of your ear.

Nellie is blowing them all AWAY. I don’t want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! I didn’t get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Daddy horny, Michael. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow.

Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn’t do it. It’s one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars? Buster, what are you doing with mother’s rape horn? It’s so watery. And yet there’s a smack of ham to it. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. Yeah, like I’m going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON.

Everybody dance… NOW. I could use a leather jacket for when I’m on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. You mean the guy we’re meeting with can’t even grow his own hair? Come on! Buster’s in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. God knows they’re squinters.

What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? And although the intervention didn’t work, it turned into one of the Bluth family’s better parties. They don’t allow you to have bees in here. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care!

Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. Fried cheese… with club sauce. Chickens don’t clap! I don’t care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. ♪♪ It ain’t easy being white… ♪♪ You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.

#plubali

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Jp Avila
example the story of our trip

Work on projects near & dear to my heart to help change the world, or make me laugh. Spend time thinking, working & enjoying the practice of failing harder.