But, Dude: Naya, and a typo.
But: Dude, I don’t think Dudette’s gonna be happy about you publishing this, it’s her narrative and it seems personal and a little too intimate.
Dude: What? Are you serious? Do you want to get into this right now? You know Maya, she needs to know and she needs to know now.
But: I get that, but this may not be the best way for Maya to know, right?
Dude: What the hell man? It’s been 3 days since anyone heard from her. We don’t have any other choice. Publish it, now.
But: But, Dude!
One day to go…
The Dude,
Both of us don’t see the baby till she’s born. But I’m ahead of you, I have the baby in my body. I can feel her grow inside me. I had my body all my life — duh! but only became aware of it when I hit puberty. That’s an interesting way to be introduced to your own body, at an intimate level. My relationship with my body had ebbs and flows, and then, I met you. You mister! are one naughty animal. I had to be with you. I had to share my body with you. In time, I was able to figure out the dynamics of my relationship with you and with my body. No complaints, loved every bit of it. Now we have one more, to share my body with, Naya. Yes, Naya! That’s what I’ve decided to call her, while she’s still baking inside of me. We’ll soon introduce her to the world. And we are going to be her world, at least till she hit’s her puberty I guess! lol
But you mister, you the real MVP. Hear me out before you blurt out — “here you go again!”, ok? You can’t see her, you can’t feel her, you don’t know her, at least not yet. You only know her through me. You trust me blindly. Always by my side, through pain and pleasure, through fear and tear, always by my side. You only know Naya through me and soon I’d introduce her to you and the world. She’s gonna be a pain in the ass for sure, can’t blame our own genes I guess. 🤷♀ And you are here, just waiting, emotionally invested, putting up with me throughout our pregnancy. So what if you need more time to connect with her, so what if you’d be lost sometimes, overwhelmed, panicking not knowing what to do. You just need to find your way back home, to me, to us. I know you will. You may not know it yet, but I do. You know why? Because you’ll see me in her, you’ll look for me in her, you’ll fall in love with me all over again. Only this time, it’s gonna be a different version of me, a better version, with a little bit of me and a little bit of you. I know you will. And I know Naya will too.
The Dudette.
But: Done, posted. I hope Maya reads it.
Dude: Oh yes, she may hate me, but won’t miss the channel updates. I always thought she’s too smart to be dumb. She proved me wrong. Who’d have thought a typo in her name in the hospital records could escalate to this kind of a drama after so many years?
But: By the way, why did Maya get the idea that you are having an affair? And who with? Who does she think Naya is?
Dude: Oh man, that’s a long and stupid story. She pieced together two unrelated things. 🤦♂ Dudette and I should have come clean after that roleplaying fiasco. She believes I’m having an affair. And she got the name Naya from my credit card transactions.
But: What transactions?
Dude: We make our weekend getaway reservations under the name Naya. 🤦♂
But: Dude, using your daughter’s name on your roleplaying getaways? That’s so gross.
Dude: Shut up! The typo. You know her name is Maya.
But: Dude! same difference. I’m sure she’s gonna be back soon. It’s gonna be awkward.
Dude: Oh yeah, I bet. For now, as it says in the letter — I need to find my way back home.
Monday 3:44 PM
Dudette: lol. She thinks you’re having an affair. 😂 😂
Dude: WTH! You need to come clean. We need to come clean.
Dudette: She’ll be fine Mr. Grumpy.
Wednesday 11:36 AM
Dudette: PICK UP!
Dudette: Maya is missing.
Thursday 5:01 PM
Dude: On my way home. She’ll be home soon and… I’m the real MVP.
Dudette: No, you didn’t.
Dudette: Fuck Dude! That’s below the belt.
P.S — Inspired by and dedicated to all the newbie parents and their freshly baked buns. 😉
