Three Qualities I Value Most in Relationships.
My response to June’s First Week Prompt of The Summit
What I crave for in any relationship includes care, love, trust, respect, comfort, happiness and the list goes on. However, three qualities I value most in my relationships are:-
- Consistency
- Transparency
- Drama Free
1. Consistency:-
According to Ashley Laderer “Consistency is a combination of behaviors that include dependability, trust, and a true desire to have a companion and form a serious relationship.”
In simple words, consistency means to have such a pattern in your behavior that people around you do not need to walk on shells. They know the kind of reactions they can expect from you in every situation.
This quality makes a relationship calm and predictable, and in my opinion, being predictable is not a bad thing in relationships. No one wants to feel anxious and worried all the time. We all need some kind of predictability in our daily lives.
I have seen people always looking at the face of their partner, reading their body language and trying to manage their moods, because one wrong move, and everything will be a mess.
This is not what I want in my relationships.
Who in my life has this quality?
You may find it strange, but I find my enemies to be the most consistent ones. I can predict their next move, and even if I can’t predict their exact move, I always know the motive behind it. They hate me, they want to disturb my peace and love to spoil my day. I know that.
What I appreciate about my enemies is that they are consistent in their hate. A consistent enemy is way better than an inconsistent friend. Because a consistent enemy is gonna hate me everyday the same way but there is no guarantee of that kind of love and support from an inconsistent friend or partner.
2. Transparency:-
As per the definition at www.aconsciouspartner.com “Being transparent within a relationship is about sharing our thoughts and feelings honestly, without fear of judgment or repercussion”.
What is the meaning of a relationship if you can’t talk about your fears the same way you share your happy memories, passions and laughs?
Relationships exist as a support system in this world. Human beings crave for a sense of belonging, and how can you truly feel that connection unless you can talk to each other about anything and everything without any fear of judgment? Can you??
Those relationships never work where one partner lives in his/her own cage and no one is allowed to enter those walls. If you are always on the lookout while talking to your friend or your partner, if you are scared of being judged by them or there is a continuous fear that anything you say, will be used against you in future, let me tell you, this practice is only fair in legal proceedings, not in personal relationships.
Who in my life has this quality?
The only person I can talk to, without any fear of judgment, is my mother. She is the true love of my life. I can tell her all my secrets (even though being a brown mother, she ends up telling a lot of things to my father or siblings :P) .
Whenever I feel stressed and want to share something, I know she will be all ears and most importantly I can be my true-self in front of her.
Please remember my mother in your prayers.
3. Drama Free:-
Third most important quality I value in relationships is to be easy going, simple, smooth without any unnecessary drama because the essence of every relationship is comfort.
If you can’t find that comfort and ease in your relationship, everything else becomes meaningless.
Who in my life has this quality?
My relationship with writing brings me that comfort and ease. This relationship is completely drama free while being the most reliable support I can ever ask for.
To be honest, writing and me have the most transparent relationship as well, where I can be my true-self without any fear of judgment. Thanks to the readers :) You guys are love.
